Do it Yourself Vampire Academy
by xXxhurting-insidexXx
Summary: ADOPTED STORY; Ever Read Vampire Academy & Wished You Could Be A part of It? Well Now U Can! Romance, Fights, Stupid Teachers, Strigoi, & Badass Guardians Galore As Your Own Characters Face The Odds! Rated M For Possible Lemons & Language. ENJOY!
1. Forms

**Do it yourself Vampire Academy!!**

Have you read the Vampire Academy series, and wished you were part of that?

Well, now with the Do it yourself Vampire Academy, you can create a character and watch them interact in a virtual academy environment.

Includes tests, and troubles, romances at your consent and more! So press the little review button and send me your character!

Choose from four kinds of characters and fill out the appropriate format!

**Moroi student**

Name: (what do we call the character?)

Age: (10-18)

Status: (Are they royal?)

Appearance: (What do they look like?)  
Personality: (Are they mean, kind, manipulative, quiet, loud?)

Element: What did they specialize in, have they even specialized?)

Extra: (Anything else you think needs to be said about your character but wasn't previously mentioned)

**Dhampire student**

Name: (what do we call the character?)

Age: (10-18)

Appearance: (What do they look like?)  
Personality: (Are they mean, kind, manipulative, quiet, loud?)

Skill: (How skilled are they at fighting? How serious are they about becoming a guardian?)

Extra: (Anything else you think needs to be said about your character but wasn't previously mentioned)

**Guardian**

Name: (what do we call the character?)

Age: (19-45 (In this they retire at 45 if they make it that long)

Appearance: (What do they look like?)  
Personality: (Are they mean, kind, manipulative, quiet, loud?)

Kills: (How many strigoi have they killed?)

Assignment: (For the sake of this, you have three choices, you can make a Moroi for the guardian to guard or they can be employed by the school, OR they can be a teacher)

Extra: (Anything else you think needs to be said about your character but wasn't previously mentioned)

**Moroi**

Name: (what do we call the Character?)

Age (19-120)

Appearance (What do they look like?)

Personality: (Are they mean, kind, manipulative, quiet, loud?)

Status: (Are they royal, or not? Do they live at Royal court and are visiting the academy? Maybe they're a Moroi teacher?)

Element: (What did they specialize in?)

Guardians: (Who're their Guardians? *please fill out a Guardian Forum* if they're a permanent resident at the school they don't need one)

Extra: (Anything else you think needs to be said about your character but wasn't previously mentioned.


	2. St Vladimir's Academy

**Hey you guys. This is the same story except I am now the author of it. Shannen could not figure out what to do with it so I adopted it. I am so excited to have this story and I have many thank to her. You get one million cookies Shannen!!!!! And thank you for letting me adopt your wonderful story. I am positive that I will take this story to great places!!!!**

Chapter 1 – St. Vladimir's Academy

Kiera Sanders, relatively young for a guardian of her status, had just arrived at Saint Vladimir's Academy, and was met with open arms. With such a dangerous history still lingering at Saint Vladimir's, it was a wonder so many students were still enrolled here. This is why Kiera had been asked to be a Guardian there.

Her previous assignment was little more than a fleeting memory; he had been an idiot anyway. And to add to the offer, they had let her become head Guardian. In charge, just the way she liked it.

As she walked across campus Kiera took note of the students wandering around. It was almost day time, so not many were out. One in particular caught her eye.

He was tall, taller than her 6"1 height. He was clearly a Dhampire, with large muscles covering every inch of him. She couldn't quite tell if he was a guardian or not, he looked old enough to be one.

Kiera purposefully marched over to him; he noticed her coming when she was a few feet away.

"Hey, I know it's almost curfew I'm on my way" He laughed.

"Are you a Guardian here?" She asked politely as she reached him.

He chuckled "Naw, I'm a moroi."

"Oh, sorry" She smiled and turned to leave.

It had been a long flight to Montana, and she was tired. She officially started tomorrow anyway.

"So you must be Guardian Sanders right?" He asked before she got more than a foot.

"Yes I am. And what's your name?" She asked with a nod.

"My name is Nathan or Nate" He replied.

"It's nice to meet you Nathan. I would suggest hurrying back to your dorm immediately" Kiera warned and with a nod walked away.

She was happy when she finally reached Guardian housing. All of her things had been delivered and her few suitcases sat on her bed.

Kiera busied herself with unpacking for the next half hour, and then looked at the clock. Deciding it was late enough for her to sleep, she dressed in pajamas and flopped back onto her surprisingly comfortable bed.

Nathan on the other hand, had a different opinion it was just getting light out by the time he got back to the dorm, and he was barely tired, despite having gone through the usual work out with Lorcan and boring classes, he was pretty energized. Nathan had a lot of friends in his dorm, so he sat and thought about whom he could go visit.

Of course, He'd like to be with Sofia, but who knows what she…or rather whom she was doing at the moment. The thought made Nathan both grimace and laugh, a strange mixture that earned him several odd looks.

It turned out he didn't need to decide as a Lorcan a dhampire and good friend of his walked in with Keith, a moroi. Lorcan had wavy black hair and black eyes, though you could never tell considering he's always looking down, he wore plain clothes, and generally blended in.

Keith on the other hand was a handsome Moroi with jade eyes, and chocolate hair gelled stylishly. He wore a bright smile on his face, and had his arm slung around Lorcan's shoulders.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Nathan asked with a smile.

Lorcan shrugged, as did Keith.

"Don't be so talkative" Nate scoffed.

They settled down on the chairs across from him.

"Lor signed up for extra practice and I got caught up talking to a group of swooning jailbait's" Keith laughed.

"Sure, that's it _jailbait_. Pft" Nathan laughed.

Lorcan smirked.

In truth a group of middle school kids had gotten a bit lost looking for an older brother and had asked him for directions. Nothing major in that at all.

"I'm serious!" Keith huffed.

"Sure, sure" Nate nodded.

Lorcan couldn't help himself, he let out a low chuckle, and Nate briefly wondered if his voice was that deep.

"Lor, come on, you got to head back to your dorm" Demyan sighed, walking over.

Demyan had blonde hair that waved to his chin and curled, he had slate grey eyes and was extremely built, and tall 6'9 tall. Demyan had a long scar on his upper left arm.

He was quiet most of the time.

Lorcan looked up and nodded, beginning to stand.  
"Come on Guardian Adreev, let him stay a bit longer, I haven't seen him all day" Nathan begged.  
"You know I can't Nathan. Come on Lorcan, I'll walk you back."

Lorcan nodded and with a wave to his friends, he followed the huge guardian out of the Moroi dorm.

On their way over they passed a very drunk moroi, Sofia wearing a skirt that barely covered her butt and a skimpy tank top.

"Princess Zelkos, it's too cold to be wearing that" Demyan sighed.

Sofia stopped and gazed dazedly up at him.

"I'm fine Guardian" She smiled, trying to be seductive.  
"Here take my jacket, I'll get it back from you tomorrow" He smiled, slipping his peat jacket off, and draped it over her shoulders.

"Hurry and get back, it's getting light out" He rushed her.

"Thank you Guardian" She smirked and walked off.

Demyan and Lorcan continued and soon reached the Dhampire dorm.

In the lounge, were two groups of dhampires.

One was a study group, among them was Natasha. She had green eyes, blonde hair that curled slightly; she was tall and strong with curves like any dhampire girls.

The other group was huddled in the back.

Bellatrix, a girl with black hair that was pin straight to her waist, and icy eyes. She didn't like guys in particular due to previous experiences, and was pretty anti-social.

Then was Saffron with vibrant red hair that waved to her shoulder blades, and had a white headband stuck in it.

And the only missing from the group was Delila, she had stringy mousy brown hair, and blue eyes, she looked like she was twelve, though she was sixteen, and her parents dressed her like a doll. She had a strange phobia of people.

Demyan smiled, bowed and took his leave.

As the sun began to come up, both Dhampires and Moroi settled into their beds, safely protected by the night guardians. And as the sun rose and set behind the horizon, letting to the night, students woke, and the Guardians switched.

First period went in.

Bellatrix sat in the middle of her class, bored out of her mind, and very agitated, she was surrounded by idiotic girls rambling on and on about this boy and that boy. Frankly it bugged her. So what if some Moroi royal winked at her across the hall. He was probably winking at another moroi, and even in the off chance he was winking at the girl, the most he would want would be a little blood and sex. But she was being cynical again.

So she tried to block them out, and listened to the teacher drown on about the theory of protecting a moroi charge.

"When will this end?" She mumbled to herself, fisting a hand in her hair.

Sometime later she was sitting in the dining hall with her friends. There were people all around her, and she could see her two friends beginning to get nervous with the crowds. For Bellatrix, it wasn't being around people that bugged her, so much as being around men she didn't know that scared her. What would they do? Does she let them get too close? What if they hurt her?

She had no idea how to act around them, and didn't think she would have a revelation anytime soon. After lunch, she headed to the gym. Most of the dhampires she knew had a training period with her. Today they were working with the long staffs. Not that she would ever have one. Where would she find a long bamboo pole lying around, seriously?

So, pushing her criticism aside she grabbed the staff, and was paired up with Lorcan, one of her favorite guys to practice with. He was good, but not threatening in a way most guys were. He was good looking to but quiet and nice. She wasn't as nervous around him as she was around most boys. So having taken a fighting stance, they squared off, and began fighting.


	3. That voice

The next day came too soon for Lorcan. Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to be a moroi. To not have to worry about one day putting your life on the line to protect someone, and to be able to party your life away. But Lorcan loved the thought of becoming a guardian. They were an asset to society, and it was his duty to protect the moroi. He wasn't big on partying or the politics that came with being a royal. Lorcan preferred to just stay under the radar, only taking to spotlight when he absolutely had to, but with friends like Nathan, Keith and Anna-Ross, the opportunity to take the spotlight didn't come often. That's why he hung out with them so much.

Anna-Ross, she was away. It was a strange thing, she didn't know her mother, but she knew her father. He was a semi royal moroi, and since her mother had disappeared when she was born, her father had enrolled in her in the school. They were close, he visited when he could, and sometimes he invited her to come see him. Rumor has it, he was already arranging who she would be assigned to when she graduated.

But that was getting off topic. He was going to be late if he didn't stop getting lost in thought, and didn't get up and get dressed for the day. So he pulled himself out of bed and put on a green shirt and jeans, and headed off to class.

The day went by and before he knew it, he was on his way to the cafeteria.

Keith and Nathan were leaning on the stone wall beside the door to the dining hall. In Lorcan's opinion it was sort of obvious that Keith was gay, but he was perceptive like that. So who knows? It was certain though, that Nathan remained completely clueless.

They both waved and smiled when they saw him, and the trio headed into the dining hall.

"We've got to feed. Save us a table?" Nathan asked.

Lorcan nodded, and went up to get normal food. He got enough for the three of them, and slid into a seat at their normal table. The food in the dining hall was pretty good, but not exactly Lorcan's favorite. He had gone with Nathan and Keith a few times when they went for the weekend into town, and they had eaten at some pretty expensive places, and he had to admit it was very good. But he didn't mind eating the cafeteria food, it kept him going, and unlike some of the more snobby royals, he wouldn't complain.

Keith and Nathan returned from the feeder's room a few minutes later and joined him at their table.

Lunch went by, mostly uneventfully, and Lorcan headed off to his class. Today they were sparing. He paired up with a tall boy and started to fight. Everyone tended to overestimate Lorcan, because he so rarely fought willingly. He wasn't as amazing as everyone made him out to be…he was good, but not like that.

So the guy sparing with him was quite nervous, making him slip up every once and a while, there for it was easy for Lorcan to overpower him

Keith.

He sat in one of his many boring classes, to be honest, Keith rarely knew what class he was in. mainly because Nathan was in his class.

Okay, Keith would admit, he was gay, and was pretty in love with His best friend Nathan. Not that he could do anything. Nathan was very straight, so there was really no hope. Keith knew he was helplessly pining after the boy but so what? He was happy just being with Nathan. However cheesy it sounded.

Keith was pretty bored and was very tempted to just get up and walk out of the classroom. Mind made, he packed his books into his bag and began to get up, but Nathan's hand clamped down onto his arm.

"Where do you think you're going? Sit your ass down. No way are you getting another set of detentions" Nathan hissed, with a smirk.

Keith sighed, and pulled out his books. Nathan had training from Lorcan, unlike Keith, although Keith could blast him away with since his element was air although Nathan would probably burn his ass off, Nathan's element was fire after all.

After classes were over Keith and Nathan headed to meet Lorcan. In Keith's opinion, Lorcan was pretty good looking himself, but they were only friends. And that's all Keith needed out of that relationship.

They hung out in the Moroi dorm until curfew and Lorcan headed back.

"Hey, wanna head into town this weekend? I could use a fast food fix" Keith asked. It's as close as he got to going on a date.

"Sure. We should bring Lorcan and Anna-Ross, maybe even Sofia?" Nathan proposed.

Keith's face fell, but he hid that from Nathan. "Uh, yeah okay" He nodded. That was definitely not what he had planned. But never the less, he was still excited for the weekend. _Maybe my day's looking better after all, _he thought as he made his way to his room. After he was dressed for bed and under the covers, he heard something that made his whole body go rigid.

"_Help me, Keith…Help me….." _That voice. He had been hearing it for as long as he can remember. It was that voice that had been talking to him in his sleep. He knew he had heard that voice before, but he just could not place it. He tried to gulp back the fear. He was about to ask his roommate if they could talk, and remembered that his roommate had died in the last strigoi attack. He was Keith's only friend that knew he was gay. He looked over at the empty bed and felt hot tears prickling behind his eyes. He sniffled, and had to cough away the tears. He turned on his back and looked up at the ceiling, tears falling down his face. His parents shunned him, everyone at school who knew made fun of him, and his only true friend that was gay along with him was dead. And now he was falling for his non-gay best friend. _Like my life can't get anymore worse, _he thought grimly as he hastily wiped away the tears and closed his eyes, focusing on deep, even breaths. And as the darkness of sleep captivated him, he swore he felt the cold touch of a kiss on his temple and the sweetest voice he had ever heard.

"It is alright my love. I will see you again." And at that he fell into the blissful darkness.

**I hoped you liked it. Sorry bout not giving his dead roommate a name. I kept thinking ADRIAN, but I don't know. Let me know what you think!!!!!**


	4. Love Worth Dying For?

**Hey guyz, this here is chapter 3 for DIYVAMV! Sorry it took so long to update, but I have been going mad to finish this chapter for my other story, and on top of that with all the forms I keep getting, as much as I enjoy them, please hold off on them for a little bit, at least until I get ore acquainted with them. I have been trying to learn as much about each character as I could, and now that my Microsoft is working and I have chapter 8 of ****Goodbye I'm Sorry**** posted, I can get to work on chapter 3 of ****Do It Yourself Vampire Academy My Version****. And once again I would like to thank **Mitsu-heart **for allowing me the opportunity to adopt this beautiful story. So without further adieu, I give you chapter 3! **_**LET ME POINT SOMETHING OUT FIRST. I AM DOING EACH OF THESE CHAPTERS THAT I WRITE IN FIRST PERSON POV! **__**Btw, THERE ARE GUNA BE SOME SPOILERS ABOUT **__THE LAST SACRIFICE, __**SO IF YOU HAVE NOT READ, YOU ARE FOREWARNED!**_

**Chapter 3 – Love Worth Dying For**

Delila Daschkow

_Knock knock._ I look over to my door, having heard someone knocking on it. The knocker was insistent, so I go over and open the door. It's just another Guardian. Demyan something or other. And apparently, he's extremely cocky most of the time and has a big mouth, and attracts women. Not that I would ever look at a Guardian like that. It's illegal to fall in love with a Guardian. But he is unbearably cute…

"Yes?" I ask him, my high-pitched voice seeming even higher. His brow furrows, as if he was trying to figure out what I said, so I repeated, "Yes, how may I help you?" I noticed that he's holding a very big, very long box in his hands. _Mother,_ was all I think. Despite the frown that I feel like having, I place a smile on my face.

"Well, Ms. Daschkow, it seems I have a package for you," he said, indicating the box.

"Well, please bring it in, if you would," I said, stepping aside so he could come in. I wince as he brushes past me, and he notices.

"Are you all right?" He asks. I just nod. "Hmm," he said, placing the box down on the floor gently. "Most Moroi and Dhamphires would be trying not to throw themselves at me," he said, sly smile on his face, "But you look like you'd rather see me out of here."

"I apologize for seeming rude, but I would in fact prefer you to leave," I said going over to the door and motioning for him to leave. He just cracked a smirk and left, but not before bowing. I used my air ability and blew some steam into his face, and his nose crinkled up and he sneezed. I smiled.

Closing the door behind him, I let out a relieved sigh. And shuddered. That was almost too close. Sighing, I walk over to the big box lying on my floor. I sit down cross-legged and begin to open it, already dreading what is inside. Tearing away tape and plastic, and finally opening the box, I grimace.

Looking back up at me from inside the box were two dresses, one a pale purple and the other a pale blue. Each had its own pair of shoes, bracelets, necklaces, and earrings. Sighing once again, I pick them up and place them in my closet, dreading the occasion when I will, inevitably, have to wear them. I did the same for the rest of the presents from Mother.

Looking at the clock, I see that I have an hour to get ready for class. Walking over to the vanity Mother said I just had to have; I sit down and look at my reflection. A sickly looking girl with big blue eyes and stringy, mousy brown hair looked back at me. Her expression and posture were sallow, making her look very sad. She didn't look like one of the royal families.

"But I am," I whisper to myself. Straightening my back and holding my head up, I look at myself once more, seeing a glimpse of what I should look like, but don't. "I don't fit in with the other Moroi _or _Dhamphires, let alone the royals, Mother." Sighing, I turned away from the mirror and went to my closet, grimacing at all the new editions Mother must have snuck in here. Some of them were pretty, but made me feel like a doll.

Sighing, I picked up a dark blue dress that was as close to allowing me to be comfortable as I could. It was sleeveless, with diamonds (some were real) dotted all over the chest area. It flowed down to my knees with a bubble skirt effect. The fabric was a mixture of silk, chiffon, and lace, and was far from my area of being comfortable.

Once I have the dress on, I sift through to the back of my closet to where I keep all of the dresses that I long to wear. They were simple and flattering, for me. The difference between the ones I picked out and the ones Mother picked out was obvious. Closing the doors, I walked back over to the vanity and brushed out my hair, trying to make order out of it.

After wrestling with it for over ten minutes, I decided to just keep it down, hoping that no one would notice me. Placing a sedate necklace on and only a few silver bangles, I sigh and pick up my bag and some of my books and walk out the door. I head to the feeders before I go to the cafeteria, and go to my usual place. The girl whom I always fed from was named Sarah. She was too old and too languid to care about anything anymore. But she always had a smile for me, and I breathed in, the scent of freesias filling my body. And baring my fangs, I began to feed.

….

When I finished, I cleaned my mouth and fixed my dress, and with a smile to Sarah, I left the feeders and went to the cafeteria where all the other students were. I hung back away from them, just watching them interact. Across the cafeteria, I see Bellatrix with Saffron, talking kind of animatedly. Something happened to Bellatrix, no one knows what, but she doesn't really like guys near her. She's also one of the best would-be Guardians I've ever seen. Her skills are amazing, but her emotions don't go past that.

Going into my corner, I face the cafeteria, watching everyone. Some are crying, others are laughing, and some are even fighting. The bell is going to ring in about five minutes, so I turn away and walk out of the cafeteria and into the cool December air. Christmas is coming up soon, and everyone is excited about it. Well, almost everyone. I convinced Mother to let me stay here for a week or so, so I could practice some more.

Once I had told her that it would help me with becoming friends with the other royals, she agreed immediately. Looking out at the sunset, a sense of longing goes through me. What would it be like, being able to go to school like normal teenagers, where it didn't matter if you were Moroi or Dhamphire, if you weren't a royal or not? Where you could go to the movies, to the mall, on a date. Not having to worry if a Strigoi is going to jump out of an alley and attack you.

I sigh, continuing to walk to the dorm where my classrooms were. A Teacher stopped me though.

"Uh, excuse me, but aren't you going the wrong way, sweetheart?" It was a male teacher. He taught the fifth graders. I looked at him.

"No, this is the way to my class. I am Delila Daschkow."

"Oh, forgive me! I am terribly sorry. I did not recognize you," he said. I just nod.

"It is all right, I promise. Just…Just make sure it does not happen again," I said. He bowed and I continued walking. Just another day of my life…

Demyan Andreev

_I wonder why she flinched from me instead of flirting,_ I think to myself as I walk back to my post. Delila Daschkow is a complete mystery. She is sixteen, part of an obscure royal family, and dresses like a doll. Her mother throws her into large crowds, and Delila shies back, almost as if she were afraid.

"But what do I care?" I ask myself, finally getting back to where I was before. Girls and women of all sorts practically throw themselves at me, and I fight them off. And now, here was one that wanted nothing to do with me. The idea that someone wouldn't find me attractive was unpleasant.

I knew I looked good, but I'm not conceited. I am 6' 9", slender, with light skin which is slightly tanned, dark blonde hair that is wavy and curls at the end, grey eyes and a nice built. I have abs, but my only fault that people would ever see is the scar on my left arm from my first kill. Subconsciously, my fingers drift up to the 3 molnija marks on my neck. Each one came with a heavy price. I wonder if Delila knows about them…

_Damn, Delila,_ my thoughts are bitter, and I should know better, but something about her makes me lose focus. _Not good_. Shaking my head, I bring my focus back to my task from earlier: guarding the grounds.

"Maybe this will take my mind off you."

Delila Daschkow

This was wrong, and I knew it. I shouldn't be here; I should be in my last class or in my dorm asleep. But the fountain had always called me and calmed me. And I needed that. Frustrated tears filled my eyes as I remembered what had happened, and why I was here instead of being in my designated places. And her name was Sofia Zeklos. She was the reason I am here now, and I knew I could do nothing about it.

Sofia was famous around the school. If not for her looks, than for her reputation. She lived for hurting people, and would do just about anything to find dirt on everybody, even if it meant sleeping with a Guardian. She is about 5'5, with long, straight, black hair with bangs that brushed just above her icy blue eyes. And of course, along with her beauty, she has a perfect model figure.

"Still crying, I see." My back stiffened at that voice. I spoke without turning around.

"Sofia," I said simply, hoping my voice didn't betray the pain and fear I am feeling. She just laughed.

"Why don't you look at me?" She asked in her sweet voice. I swallowed, and turned to face her. She had her little group with her, whose names I don't know. There are about five total, and all of them are beautiful, bitchy, and perfect. And right now, they are surrounding me, with Sofia staying in front of me. I looked around, seeing that the others had me trapped. I had nowhere to run.

"Wh…What do you want with me Sofia?" I asked, my voice wavering. She smiled and came up to me, so that she was inches away. I tried to flinch back, but her steely fingers gripped my shoulders. My gasp is inaudible to me as I stiffen and clench up. _She's too close_. _Call for a Guardian you, idiot!_ My throat seemed to be closed up and I can barely hear what Sofia is saying due to the pounding in my head.

"Listen to me you tramp!" She yelled out, shaking me. I start to struggle, needing to be out of her grasp. "No you don't," she said, and gripped me harder. A burning sensation fills my head and I cry out, holding my hands against my head. "Ladies," she says, and the fire goes away, only to be replaced with an air user, taking my breath away. Nausea takes over and then a water user goes next, choking me.

My coughs are strangled and I can barely find any air, when an earth user decides to make my head close up** (I have no idea what an earth user can do, so just go with it!)**. Sickened with nausea, a migraine, and dizziness, I croak out to Sofia.

"What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid slut?" And then there's silence. I look up bleary eyed and see Sofia standing in front of me, vibrating with anger. Out of nowhere, she jumps on top of me and starts punching me in the face. I'm too weak to stop her, but I use air to make her breathing difficult. She starts coughing and I gather up all my strength and kick her. She goes off me, and I get up numbly.

"This isn't over, you bitch," she croaks out and her and her group leaves. I walk over to the fountain, and collapse against it, cupping some water in my hands and splashing my face with it. I try to take a swallow, but my throat was ripped raw.

Coughing harshly, I turn away and start my way back to the dorms, slowly. I could see the building in the distance and someone walking around it.

"Help," I croaked out weakly. I swore they turned their head, but the dizziness finally won and I collapsed.

….

I woke up to the sound of beeping. My head is pounding and my throat feels completely raw, but at least I feel my heart beating. A cough makes its way past my lips, and tears fill my eyes at the pain.

"Here," someone says. I open my eyes slowly and with astonishment, I see none other than Demyan. I look down at the glass of blood he has in his hand and take it, making sure I don't touch him. He notices that too. "Why do you do that?" He asks softly. I look at him.

"Do what?" I ask, taking a sip of the sweet liquid. It burns a little on the way down, but it helps.

"Shy away from people like that." The glass almost fell from my hands, but I caught it in time.

"I…I don't really like anyone touching me, except my parents. I hate big crowds and people in general, and I don't have any friends because of that fear," I told him, and realized how sad my life is. I don't have any friends, and I probably never will. I voiced my thoughts aloud to him. His immediate reaction is startling.

"You can have friends," he said firmly. I look at him, the pain and fear plain on my face. He took the glass from my hands and held them, and I gasp, not flinching away. I look at where our hands are and look back up at him, the silent question in my eyes. "I don't know," he whispers to me, and for once, his voice is vulnerable. _He_ is vulnerable. And it frightens me. This could get dangerous, whatever it is.

Gently, I pull my hands back, with an apologetic smile on my face. "This can't happen," I tell him. He nods.

"I know it can't."

"But?" I question him, knowing there is one.

"But, I can't get you out of my head." _God, he looks scared._

"I'm sorry, Guardian…"

"Andreev," he filled in quietly. I cleared my throat.

"I'm sorry, Guardian Andreev. But this cannot happen, whatever this is. You would be stripped of your title, and I of mine."

"You're right," Demyan says coolly. I look up at him, but his face is the same face he has every day: that of annoyance but devotion. "This cannot happen, and _won't_. I am 19, to your mere 16. And I would sooner be stripped of my title than have a risky and worthless relationship with you!" His voice was slightly louder than before, and I knew that he was angry. "I guess it isn't enough, being a royal, huh?" His voice turned mocking.

My shocked gaze meets his mocking one. He just laughs coldly. "Now you can go tell all your friends about how you turned the impervious ladies-man into a shaking fool. Don't get any ideas about doing that, though, because I'll have you suspended, or expelled for using magic to hurt people," and with that he turns and walks away, not seeing the tears in my eyes.

I was discharged later, and am feeling more guilty and sick and cheap than I was before. I look around, and seeing that no one is near, I use air and make the wind roar around me, and start to run, but not before I take off my heels. I can't run very much because of how small I am, but when I do, I feel like I can fly away and never return. I sigh, knowing I am stuck here.

I put my shoes back on and continue walking towards the dorm, knowing it is an hour or so past curfew. But I don't care.

I am walking near the fountain when I see my reflection of how I am walking. It's a dainty sort of walk, like that of a child, I guess. Shaking my head, I turn and go back to the dorms, go to my room, and put on my nightgown. It's one of my favorites, mainly because I picked it out. It's a sleeveless nightgown with embroidery on the chest area, and it's a nice dark red. It's long, too.

With my gown on, I walk over to my vanity, and start to take off my jewelry. Once all of my jewelry is off, I brush my hair like I do every night. When my hair is brushed, I look in the mirror, trying to see something worth looking at. But all I see is a doll, a sick doll.

"That's all I'll ever be." Sighing, I turn away from the mirror and walk to my bed and get under the covers, having already taken care of the necessities.

The scent of freesias fills my nostrils as I close my eyes, and fall asleep to Demyan Andreev's face.

When I woke up it was to a silence. I always wake up two hours before I'm supposed to, and I don't really know why. Sighing, and slightly frustrated, I get up and walk over to the window, pulling back he curtains, and gasp. The Academy grounds are covered in a layer of pristine white snow. The sidewalks are being shoveled as to make it easier for us to walk to class, but even that doesn't take away the beauty of the snow. Suddenly, a knock came on my door. I went to answer it, fearing it might be Demyan.

"Mother?" I ask, letting her in. Unlike me, my mother is gorgeous, all legs and face. She has a darker shade of blue eyes, and wavy dark brown hair that goes to her waist, and a perfect body and aura.

"Yes, Delila, it's me," she says happily, walking into my room, followed by a Guardian carrying a box. I see her Guardian sitting outside to keep watch, and grimace. She thanks the Guardian and closes the door behind him. "I brought you something," she says in a sing-song voice. I put a cheery face on and help her open the box…

The dress _is _gorgeous, but I feel like a princess from the 1800s. It is more of a prom dress, that leaves my shoulders bare, and has a ruffled hem that stops at just below my knees. The color is a dark green, with jewels around the neckline. The shoes that go with it are a dark green, and the necklace, earrings, and bracelets are all silver. Mother starts doing my hair.

"How long are you staying, Mother?" I ask her. But she doesn't answer, too focused on my hair. She plugs in a straightener and straightens bits and pieces of my hair, and pulls it up in a French twist, leaving some strands of hair down, mainly the little pieces that she straightened. I don't think it looks right, but thank her anyway. "Thank you, Mother. I appreciate it." She just nods and kisses my cheek, but not before she heads for the door, almost going out it but turning to me.

"I cannot stay. I have some business to attend to back home," she says and is gone. No news about Father, about life at home, nothing. I look at the clock and notice that I have 45 minutes before I have to head to class. Sighing, I decide to go to the feeders, knowing that should take about 30 minutes.

When I am almost there, though, a voice stops me.

"Excuse me, but where do you think you're going?" Demyan. I stop and turn to look at him. He gawks at me openly.

"I am going to the feeders, Guardian Andreev," I tell him, the image of total calm and royalty. "Is there a problem that I should know of? For if there is, I would like to know about it now."

"No, there is no problem. Except that it is nearly 30 minutes before you are allowed to be walking around the grounds."

"I apologize for that, Guardian Andreev. But I must go feed now. I am terribly thirsty."

"Fine, you may go, but make sure you go nowhere else. Understood?" He looks as if he hasn't slept, but oh well. I just nod and turn away, continuing my way to the feeders.

Once I am done feeding, after noticing that Mother had fresh freesias placed in vases, I leave the feeders and head to my first class, knowing that today is going to be terrible.

….

Peeking around the corner, I make sure that the coast is clear. All day, either Sofia or one of her friends, has been taunting me and picking on me. Seeing that no one is around, I sigh, coming around my hiding spot and walk towards the classroom. And then, I hear it. Heels clicking on the sidewalk. I look around, and seeing no place to hide, I pick up my pace, trying to get there before she sees me…

"Delila?" I stop dead in my tracks. The sound of heels has stopped, except for one pair. I turn around.

"Y…Yes, Sofia?" I ask, my voice timid and quiet. And then my world goes into slow motion: voices, and lots of them are coming. I turn to go, but her hand on my arm stops me. "Let go, you're hurting me!" I try to pull away, but she yanks my hair, pulling it out of the French twist it was in. I cry out, and try to get her off of me. She creates a fire ball in her hand, and I gasp. Then I hear the worst thing possible…

"Fight!" I look and see a huge crowd of people, and try to get her off me. By now I am completely terrified and at the sight of all of the Moroi and a few Dhamphires, I freak out. I start thrashing about, but she never lets go, only holds me tighter. And now everyone is cheering her on, even though using magic against another student is against the rules.

"Let her go, Sofia!" I look up and see a girl named Melanie Carmack. She just transferred here from California, I think. And she is a badass. It's amusing watching her and Bellatrix go at it because of how well-matched they are. At 5' 5", with long black hair and violet eyes, she could give Sofia a run for her own money.

"Back off, Carmack!" Sofia replies, and pulls my head back harder. Melanie comes forward, and Sofia nods her head towards her friends, who in turn go after Melanie. I use my air magic to try and push her away, but she's too strong. She backhands me, never taking her eyes off Melanie. I take in a big gulp of air, and scream…

"_Let me go!_" I scream loudly, well as loudly as I can, and she lets me go, but not before a few school Guardians appear. I slip and fall on my butt, but quickly try to get up and go the other way. I am only about 5 feet away when a body materializes in front of me. I cry out in shock, and when his hands try to grab me, I jump back. But, I end up slipping on some ice, and he catches me. I try to get out of his grip, but it tightens.

"Delila! Delila, it's me!" He says just loud enough for me to hear. I stop and look, meeting Demyan's concerned eyes. I look back and see that the Guardians have gotten everyone away and now have Sofia and her friends standing next to each other on the sidewalk.

Sofia is glaring at me with a wicked smile on her face. Demyan lets me go and walks over to the other Guardians. When he does, though, Sofia mouths something to me.

"_This isn't over. You will wish you had never come here,"_ even though the words were silent, I knew she meant them. I swallowed back tears at her words. Not only did everyone know I existed, they ultimately saw me at my most vulnerable, and would undoubtedly torment me until we graduated. On top of that, my dress is ruined due to the snow.

Sniffling, and bending over to pick up my fallen notebook, I didn't see the expression flash across Guardian Andreev's face…

Demyan Andreev

_How dare she do such a thing? _Sofia Zeklos was known for hurting other students, but this was crossing the line. Not only did she attack a student, but she physically and socially abused her. Delila did not deserve to be treated like that. _Like you treated her any better? You accused her of mocking you, you idiot. _Grimacing, I look over at Delila just in time to see her looking at Sofia with a look of sheer horror.

Taking a glance at Sofia, I see she is mouthing something to Delila. When I glance at Delila again, she is picking up her fallen notebook and trying to fix her hair. I hear her sniffling, I believe. _Why is she sounding like she's trying not to cry? _ I furrow my brow as I walk over to her. She turns to look at me and once again I am stunned. She is so beautiful. And for the second time today, I wonder what it would be like if I had met her under different circumstances…And before the thought can take over, I shake it off.

"Are you all right?" She jumps at my voice, and I can understand. I sound like I'm ready to kill somebody, and realizing it, I try to make my voice softer. "Are you all right Miss Daschkow?" She just nods and walks by me, cringing. Now I know why, and I want to have that Sofia girl expelled. She also must have known Delila's secret and used it against her. _If only…_

….

Walking the grounds later, my mind is on Delila. She had looked so beautiful when I saw her this morning, on her way to the feeders. And on her way back, she had smelt amazing as well. It is past curfew now and the last few students are returning to their dorms. Except for two: Rid Blue and Zane Jarl. They like to break the rules, and right now, instead of returning to their dorms, they are sitting around, talking.

"Excuse me," I say, walking up to them. They just look at me and continue talking. Gritting my teeth, I bite back a curse and raise my voice. "It is past curfew, you two. As a Guardian, I command you to return to your dorms, now." The one named Rid looks at me. She has red hair in a side ponytail, like always. And at 5' 5", she would look intimidating, but considering I have well over a foot on her, I'm only annoyed.

"Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?" Zane looks at her to try and calm her down, but she ignores him.

"Rid, come on. You don't need to get in trouble again," Zane says to her. She looks at him as if she is betrayed, but he gives her a stern but affectionate look. She sighs, but glares at me.

"Fine, I'll go. But only because Zane asked," and with that, they were gone. I gave Zane a nod and he just smirked, his yellow eyes seeming almost dead. And no wonder, he was stripped of his royal title when he was caught feeding from Rid. It was unfair because he had no other blood source and he was dying. But, they took his title away.

Sighing, I turn towards the Guardians' housing. Today has been a long day, and I need sleep.

But, when I enter my room and go take a shower, Delila is all I can think about. And as I'm lying down to sleep for a few hours, her face consumes my mind, and my last coherent thought is _why_.

Zane Jarl

"Ugh! Stupid Guardian! I should go back there and give him a piece of my mind!" I look at Rid as she finishes her tirade. Her life hasn't been easy, and she is generally cold with people. She was one of the few who defended me against losing my title, and I can never thank her enough for trying. It is almost a relief, though, that I am not royal. I mean, I have more freedom than I used to. And, as we are walking back to our dorm, we hit a patch of sunlight, and I notice, not for the first time, how beautiful she is.

Rid is something else entirely. Her fire red hair shimmers like fox hair and honey in the light, and her yellow eyes seem to glow. Although she is almost 3 inches shorter than I, she can hold her own against someone bigger. But it's not just her looks that make her beautiful to me, it's her blood. It is sweet and succulent, yet bitter and sharp. I do not thirst for it like a Strigoi would, but it has a most amazing aroma to it. Looking away from her, I try to remember that I am only a friend to her, nothing more. I sigh, and she hears it.

"What's wrong, Zane?" She asks, concern filling her. I just shake my head. "Remembering what happened again." It wasn't a question. I often think of what happened four years ago, and hating to lie to her, I nod. She nods back, understanding. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see her glancing at me, and when we reach her dorm, we both stop. I look at her, and it is as if the world has stopped.

She is looking at me in a way I had never seen before. She swallowed and her breathing picked up slightly. I took a step toward her, to give her a hug goodbye, and she snapped out of it.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asks, clearing her throat. I nod. "Okay, I'll see you then," and she turned and went inside. I watched her go up the stairs until she was out of sight, and then I started to walk to my own dorm, trying to puzzle out what just happened…

Rid Charles Blue

_What the hell just happened?_ Entering my room, I think about what just happened with Zane. It almost looked as if he liked me, but that is impossible. I am merely his sister, nothing more. Anyways, even if he did, we could never be together. He is a moroi, and I a Dhampire. _They come first_.

Once, four years ago, I'd let him feed off me, because he is my best friend and he was dying. He ended up being stripped of his title, and I got suspended because I jumped a Moroi who said that Zane should be whipped. He was always there for me, and vice versa. And he went from a boy, to a man before me.

Now, I'd always known that Zane was gorgeous. At almost 5" 8", he was the most gorgeous Moroi who went here. His hawk-like eyes, his muscular body, his amazing laugh, his smile, his smell…

A gasp escapes my mouth as I go look into the mirror. I swallow twice before speaking.

"I love, Zane." I gasp, putting my head in my hands. "No, no, no, no! This cannot be happening!" I yell, "I can't love my best friend! I just can't. We have our own duties, our own destinies to fulfill!" _But what is his? _I look back at the mirror. _He has nothing but the few possessions he still has and his name. He _has _no destiny, no duty. All he has is _"Me," I whisper, tears forming. "All he has is me. What shall we do, Zane? What shall we do?"…

Sofia Zeklos

"That bitch has ruined everything!" I yell to my friends. "She acts so innocent, so pure, and so _pathetic_! She's hiding something I know it!"

"But, Sofia, how can you know she is hiding something?" I look over at Ashley.

"_Because_, Ashley, it's obvious. You see the way she acts? Nobody would ever act like that, unless they have something to hide."

"Maybe she is just that way. Maybe that's how she really is," Ambra. I roll my eyes as I glare at her.

"Why are you two taking _her _side? She's a loner, somebody no one wants. She has a secret, I'm telling you," I look at each of them, "and I intend to find out, no matter what."

Delila Daschkow

Once I'm in my room, I break down into tears. Sofia will hold true to her promise, and then I will really be a freak. I throw my book against the door, and throw my shoes and dress in the trash. I take the rest of the pins Mother put in my hair out and get into my nightgown.

After I'm in my nightgown, I lie down in my bed and sob. I hate it here, and cannot wait for Christmas break to come…

**(DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS BREAK)**

Finally getting to my hideout, I am out of breath. And making sure that no one is around, I go inside.

It used to be a watch cottage for the Guardians, but no one needs to come here anymore. I, however, have been coming here for a month. Ever since the incident with Sofia, everyone seems to know who I am, and is always trying to touch me, or is staring at me. The only time I can escape them is when I come here, even though I know I shouldn't be. I stay here for as long as I can and then make my way back to my dorm, trying to be unseen. Sometimes it works, and other times it doesn't.

Walking over to the calendar I have in here, I mark off today and sigh. Tomorrow is Christmas Break, meaning that tomorrow, everyone is leaving to go to their respectable vacation spots. I'll be here, at the Academy for almost two whole weeks without people trying to make fun of me.

I haven't spoken to Demyan since it happened. I haven't even seen him, mainly because I take longer routes to class, where there are less people. I used to always be early to class; now I just make it.

A fresh layer of snow is falling now, and I grimace. It's going to be hard getting to my dorm later. Biting my lip, I wonder what would be better, going to my dorm now, or later. Looking out the window, I sigh, knowing the answer. After making sure everything is in order, I pull my hood up, put my gloves on, and walk out the door, not bothering to hurry.

When I am in sight of the dorm, though, someone stops me.

"Excuse me?" I turn to see a Guardian.

"Guardian Sanders," I say, nodding. She nods and approaches me. "Is there something wrong?"

"No," she says, shaking her head, "I merely wished to speak with you."

"Oh," I say. "What is it that you wished to speak with me about?"

"I have come to confirm you staying for break. Is this true?"

"Yes, I wish to stay for break, here at the Academy. I do not mean to be rude, but may I please go inside, Guardian Sanders? I am cold and wet, and wish for a hot shower," I say, looking at her pleadingly.

"Of course, my apologies Miss Daschkow," she says, bowing and turning to leave. I just nod and walk inside, going to take a nice hot shower.

It's after my shower that I accidently bump into some Moroi or they bump into me. I fall and they laugh, but still stand there.

"Yes?" I ask, hesitant. They look at each other and smirk.

"You know, Sofia is really pissed at you," one of them said. She seemed like their leader.

"I can't imagine why," I reply dryly.

"Oh, but you should know that if you are hiding something from her, she will find out. And she will make your life miserable."

I scoff, "she already has. Now, please move so I can go to my room," I tell them, making my way through them, biting back the urge to cringe away, and I'm almost past them when a foot comes out and trips me. "Ugh," I say, rolling over into the eyes of Sofia.

She tsked. "You really should learn how to walk, Daschkow," she hissed. She bent to my level. "Because of you, they were going to expel me. You never should have come here. Tell your mother that you want to be switched to another Academy, that you don't want to be here, or I swear I'll tell your secret to the whole world," she spit at me, smiling evilly.

I tried to speak but couldn't, and she saw that.

"You didn't think I'd find out? I always find out, Daschkow. It was stupid of you to try and hide it from me," she turned to go but stopped. "Oh, and here's something for you," she said. Before I realized what she was doing, she grabbed my wrist and burned it. I tried to cry out but she held her hand over my mouth, deafening any screams I might have shed.

When she stopped, I had tears rolling down my face, and when I looked up, she was gone. Sitting up, I see that I am alone, but my wrist is throbbing and feels like someone dipped it in acid. Getting up, I cradle my burned wrist to my chest and slowly walk to my room. Once there, I cry out, falling to my knees. Sobs take over my body as the pain escalates and flows through my veins.

I am like that for some time before I get up and crawl into my bed, not even bothering to pull up the blankets. I reach over and grab the antiseptic cream on my night stand and put it on my wrist, wincing as sharp tendrils of pain echo through me. Once it has the cream on it, I find an old dress and rip it into strips, which I tie around my wrist.

After an hour, I have it perfect, and it looks better. And sighing, I get under the covers, still in my towel, and fall asleep.

**(NEXT MORNING)**

Waking up, my wrist is throbbing with pain, but relief floods through me because today, all the Dhamphires and Moroi are leaving for break today. Only a few students are staying, but I never see them on a regular basis, so I should be okay.

I walk over to my closet and pull out one of my favorite dresses. It has thick shoulder straps, and a swoop neckline. It has a belt that goes under the bust area, and it is a deep crimson, the belt black. It stops just below my knees. With it, I put on a pair of black ballet flats and a simple black necklace. I look at my wrist and decide to put a long-sleeved cardigan over top. It is also black, and falls to my wrists.

Sighing, I walk out the door, and downstairs, pleased to hear almost silence. I make my way to the feeders, even though it won't heal the wound. That's the thing about magic: it won't heal with blood. It needs time and human care to go away. Only a spirit user can heal it, but the only one we have, Leanna, is away with her Guardian, Alexio. She left a couple of weeks ago, because she was going to Russia, and she won't be back until she's done doing whatever she is doing. Meaning, she could be back in an hour, or a month.

Entering the feeding room, I nod at the Guardian in charge. He nods at me, and I walk in, going over to my personal feeder. She smiles at me, already waiting her next fix. I breathe in the scent of the freesias, but they do not hold as much appeal as they once did. Sighing, I bare my fangs and bite down.

…...

When I leave the feeders, snow is falling once more. I walk out into it, letting the flakes fall on me, and cover me with their beauty. Of their own will, my legs start to move, and slowly, my arms, body, and head all start to sway to an imaginary rhythm. Before I know it, I am dancing. I twirl, jump, kick, spin, and move the air around me so it's as if I am flying. I don't even care that my feet are numb, or that my dress is probably ruined, or that my wrist is pounding. All I care about is that I feel free.

And suddenly, I stop, my hands poised in front of me, my leg bent and at an angle. Biting my lip, I stand straight, the magical feeling slowly going away. Tears fill my eyes and spill over, and by now my hair is soaked and sticking to my face. I swallow back a sob and turn…Into the eyes of none other than Demyan. I look up at him helplessly, his eyes penetrating me.

He comes forth and wipes the tears away from my face, holding my face in his hands. My breathing picks up a notch and I start to pull away. Realizing what he did, he let me go, and I feel strangely cold. He just looks at me and I look at him. After almost ten minutes of silent staring, I smile sadly at him and walk around him, heading back towards my dorm. His voice stops me.

"Delila, wait." I stop and turn to look at him. "I…I'm sorry, about before. It was a mistake, I know that. But, I came out here, looking for you because I was told that for the next week and a half, I am to be your mentor, and help you with whatever you need help in." My jaw drops and he grimaces. "I am not that terrible am I?" At first I think he is serious, but when I see him smirk, I realize he is being sarcastic. I smirk too.

"Well," I say, taking a step towards him, looking as if deep in thought, "since I have only talked with you a few times, my judgment may not be as defined as you would wish it to be. But if I were to answer, I would have to say that you could be," I said, looking all serious. His guard starts to go up, but when I smile and laugh, he raises one eyebrow. "I am kidding," I tell him. "From what I know, you are not terrible. Cranky, maybe impossible, but not terrible." He bows.

"Thank you, Miss Daschkow. Now I shall go and sit in a corner balled up, and wallow in self misery," he said in mock sadness. I busted out laughing and shook my head.

"Definitely impossible," I tell him and he smiles. I shiver suddenly. He immediately pulls off his jacket and hands it to me. "No, I couldn't. I am headed back to the dorm anyways," I tell him, shaking my head and handing it back to him. He refuses to take it. I sigh. "Well," I say, walking over to a bench, "if you refuse to take it, I guess it'll have to make its new home on this bench," and put it down, walking away.

His hands are on me, and the jacket follows. I gasp at the contact and turn to him.

"As a Guardian of this school, and your temporary mentor, I order you to wear this until we reach your dorm," he said in his Guardian tone. I just nodded, and we continued walking.

"So," I say when we round a corner, "just what are you supposed to help me with?" He glanced at me.

"Your mother insists that a Guardian helps you with formal etiquette, and since I am one of the few who has experience dealing with royal etiquette, I was assigned to be your mentor," he said, a hint of bitterness leaking through.

"Why do you sound as if you would rather be handed over to a Strigoi than help teach me how to befriend a bunch of people who think I am a freak and would only include me in their activities because I am royal?" He laughs at my comment, although I notice that it is humorless.

"Because royalty isn't all that it seems," he said simply. But before I could ask him more questions, we arrived at my dorm. I turned to him and gave him his jacket back and we said goodbye.

As I walk up the stairwell that leads to my room, I can't help but sense that this next week is going to be very fun...But then I remember who I am and who he is, and the feeling starts to go away. The pain in my wrist grows stronger and when I take the bandages off, I realize just how badly I am royally screwed. I can only hope that Demyan didn't notice the bandage I made, or ask anything about it. If he did, there would be no telling what would happen.

Sighing, I take a shower and return to my room, brushing out my hair and getting into my nightgown, and finally lying down in my bed where, as usual, I fall asleep to Demyan Andreev's face.

**(NEXT MORNING)**

When I wake up, my wrist hurts so much, I can barely move it. I put more cream on it and bandage it up again, hoping that something isn't seriously wrong with it.

Getting dressed, I decide to try something new. Instead of wearing a dress, I pull faded but form-fitting jeans out and a long-sleeved, striped shirt. I pair them with a long silver necklace that goes around my neck twice, so I tighten it so it looks like a choker and a separate necklace in one. I also throw on some silver bangles and leave my hair down. Putting on some ballet flats and a warm coat, I head to the feeders.

When I get out of the feeders, however, Demyan is there waiting. My heart picks up when I see him, but I tone it down immediately. When I stop beside him, he nods, and looks away. I frown, and he looks up about to say something when he gasps. I look at him, confused.

"Is something wrong, Guardian Andreev?" He looks me up and down, as if trying to figure out if it is me or not. He clears his throat and motions for me to go first, which I do. After I start walking, he follows in step with me. "Seriously, is something wrong, Guardian Andreev?" I say, when we're out of earshot. He sighs.

"You look different, Miss Daschkow, without your dresses and your heels. You look as if you do not belong in a Victorian school, but an American one." I stop, the comment like a slap in the face. I had heard that he can become very sarcastic and loud when he was angry; I just never thought it to be true.

"Sorry to disappoint, Guardian, but I do go to an American school. And the way I dress is nothing to concern yourself with. I happen to love wearing dresses and heels," I said, the lie slipping through as easily as breathing. "If you have a problem with the way I am, then why don't you let another Guardian mentor me? That way you don't have to worry whether or not I am going to embarrass you with my clothes and my shoes, and my money!" I storm away from him as fast as I can, the air around me electric with anger. I hear him running after me, so I stir the air around me enough so I have at least a couple of minutes to get away.

Running now, I head to my secret hideout, praying that he won't find me. Moroi are not usually accustomed to running, so my body tired sooner than I had hoped. I was far enough away, though, that I did not hear any footsteps behind me. Knowing I am still inside the boundaries, I collapse against a tree, letting the tears fall. So, he really did hate royals. Picking up a rock and throwing it against a tree, I lean against it, thinking…

It was only when I heard them calling my name did I get up and walk towards the school. I saw no one, but I could hear them. I did not bother calling out to them because it was useless. I saw a small group of them, their backs to me. I went up to one and tapped him on the back, and he turned and cried out when he saw me.

"Miss Daschkow! How could you run off like that? We were all worried sick!" He spoke into a walkie-talkie, and soon a dozen Guardians were around me. I cringed, and they moved away from me.

"I am sorry," I tell them, making them look at me. I spoke, but did not look at them. "I was having a rough morning, and I needed to get away. I should have told someone where I was going, but I do not like asking people for things, or drawing attention to myself. I apologize greatly for this inconvenience. It shall not happen again."

"No, it shall not." I stiffen upon hearing Headmistress's voice.

"Headmistress, I…"

"Oh, save your excuses! You could have been attacked by a Strigoi, or worse, turned! Just because it is Christmas Break, does not mean that you can do whatever you please!"

"But I was only gone for an hour or two! And I was inside the grounds! I was in no danger," I say at the end. I make it a habit _not _to talk back to adults, especially Guardians or Headmistress Kirova. But something is making me stand up and defend myself.

"How dare you?" She asks harshly. "Your mother tells me that you are a well-mannered student, that you are sweet and studious, and that you would never break the rules." Her face doesn't soften, but her voice does. "I shall let this pass by, but only because it is your first offense, and I have no reason otherwise to punish you. Now, your mentor," she motions for Demyan, "will escort you to your room." And with that, she turns and walks away.

I turn to Demyan, and he motions for me to start walking. With another apology to the Guardians, we walk to my dorm. Once inside my dorm, though, I take off the coat I had on, momentarily forgetting my wrist as we go up the stairs. But the pain in my wrist shoots up when the movement pulls at it, making me wince.

"What is wrong?" I look at Demyan, and just shake my head. His eyes narrow at me and I gulp. His face softens and he takes a step towards me. I look around, and realize that we are in front of my room. Looking back at Demyan I see that expression again. "Please, tell me what is wrong," his voice is like liquid honey, concern dripping from every syllable.

"Nothing, Guardian Andreev," I say, looking away from him, so he does not see the lie in my eyes. He tilts my chin up so I am forced to look at him. My breath catches in my throat as I look at him. _So beautiful…_He keeps his eyes on mine and reaches down. When he touches my wrist, however, I wince and look down. "What…What are you doing?" Is that my voice?

"What happened to you?" His voice is soft, like his hands. I try to pull away but it hurts.

"Ah," I say, the tears forming. "Please, let go." Instead, he started to unwrap my wrist. When the last bandage was on the floor, he held up my wrist. I just looked away, ashamed.

"Who did this to you?" He asks, forcing me to look at him.

"Sofia Zeklos," I tell him, my voice cracking. He does not look shocked, but murderous.

"Why did you tell no one about this?" He lets go of my wrist, only to hold my face in his hands again.

"Because I do not like to draw attention to myself, Guardian Andreev. And I would seem as if I am giving in to her," I sniffled before continuing. "For two months, I have been her target. She lives to hurt people, and hurt them she does."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I look at him like he is crazy.

"Why would I? I have no reason to."

"Look," he starts, "I don't know what's happening, but it can't. We could lose our titles, or our lives. But," for the moment he looks away, "I can't get you out of my head. Your smell, your hair, your laugh, your voice, your clothes, all of it is intoxicating. I want you to know where I stand."

"And where is that, Guardian Andreev?"

"I will not allow this to happen, if not for my sake, than yours. I am your mentor, nothing more. This," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine, "cannot happen. Delila?"

"Yes?" My whisper is faint to even my own mind; it too focused on his lips hovering above me.

"I won't do this. Please, go inside your room and sleep. I will come and fetch in the morning," and he pulled away. My eyes open and my body feels the cold all the way through. Nodding a goodbye, I turn and go inside my room, hoping for something unknown…

**(LAST DAY OF CHRISTMAS BREAK...PEOPLE COME BACK TOMORROW)**

Waking up on the last day of break, I am frustrated. A note was left at my door in the early morning, from Demyan. Walking over to my vanity, after getting dressed, I pick it up, and read what I have already memorized…

Miss Daschkow,

Due to the other students' arrival tomorrow, I feel that our lessons should come to an end. We shall not meet tomorrow. I am sorry for the inconvenience, and hope that you have learned well.

Sincerely,

Guardian Andreev

Sighing, I walk over to the window. He had not even cared enough to call me Delila, or sign his note Demyan. For the past week and a half, I have fought over whatever it is between Demyan and I, trying to get my mind off him. And for the past week and a half, I have failed. I did learn how to talk amongst a couple royals, and I know how to act around them, and I am pretty sure I can endure a party. But it is not parties or clothes I want. It's Demyan. He was right, though, this cannot happen, whatever it is. So, I force my negative feelings aside and go down to the feeders, hoping that my last day of peace goes well…

Leaving the feeders, I bump into Leanna Bloodthorn, and her Guardian, Alexio Galen following.

"My apologies, Miss Bloodthorn," I say. She just smiles and laughs.

"So, you are Miss Daschkow," she enthuses. I look up confused. "Your mentor has said great things about you. I understand that it is your last day of break, yes?" I nod. "Well, if you are not too against it, would you like to leave the grounds for a while and go shopping?" She smiles at me, and I bite my lip. I need new clothes, but Mother might not approve…

"Yes," I say and she laughs.

"That's the spirit." And for the first time in almost three months, I can't wait to be near people.

….

Exiting the car and walking into the mall, I can't believe how much I missed out. Leanna keeps close to me, Alexio in the background, with Demyan following. Demyan is our far Guardian, while Alexio is our near.

When we actually get into the mall, I gasp.

"Wow, it's so _big_." Leanna laughs.

"Of course it is, Miss Daschkow. Now, come. Let us go and find some nice clothes for you, hmm?" I smile and nod enthusiastically. She takes my hand and, laughing like a bunch of immature teenagers, we run to a store.

We try on dress after dress, along with skirts, shirts, and pants. I find out that wearing jeans is as comfortable as dresses, and buy at least a dozen pairs of jeans. I also buy some new shoes, a pair of black heels and red heels, some ballet flats, and even a pair of boots. And we laughed and talked, like normal teenagers. And for a few hours, I feel like one. We went into the bathroom at one point so she could heal my wrist. Afterwards, we went to the food court to eat something, since Moroi could stomach human food.

Once we had been to every store in the mall, I realize that we had spent six hours there. But, I am reluctant to leave. We are walking by a jewelry store when I turn to Leanna.

"Wait here for a minute, okay?" She smiles and nods. Smiling at her, I dash into the store, and emerge, ten minutes later, with two small bags in my hand.

"What's in there?" She asks. I shake my head. She juts out her lower lip, making a puppy dog face. I look away.

"Nope! I'm not looking, that won't work on me!"

"Damn," she mutters, and we laugh. We don't speak until we are in the car.

"Thank you for today, it was magical." She looks at me.

"Then we shall have to do this another time, huh?" I smile and nod.

"And here," I say handing her one of the jewelry bags. Her eyes widen as she looks at me.

"For me?"

"Of course, for you." She takes the bag and when she opens it, she gasps and impulsively hugs me.

"Oh, thank you, so much! It's gorgeous!" In her hands is a diamond necklace with rubies and sapphires mixed in around the chain. I smile.

"You are so welcome. Think of it as a 'thank you for giving me this opportunity and becoming my first friend' gift," I say. She looks at me. "And thank you for my IPod," I say, holding it up.

"You are so sweet, Delila. Any man will be lucky to have you. And you needed one. Every teenager needs one," and with that she put the necklace in its case and hugged me again before we continued talking. I smiled and laughed and talked, but on the inside I am breaking. I catch Demyan's eye for a split second but he looks away fast. And, knowing there is nothing I can do, I look away from him.

When we get to the school, I sigh, knowing it's back to boring classes, and people who hate me. But, at least I have one friend. We get out of the car, and walk into the school. Leanna and I hug and part ways, me heading to my dorm, and she to her own room. Alexio follows, but not before giving me a warm smile. I smile back at him. I also notice that Demyan does not follow me, and for that I am almost grateful. It would have been hard having to walk beside him. So, I don't even look at him as I start walking towards my own dorm, a shower and sleep the top things on my list.

Once I get to my dorm, and into my room, I close and lock the door as an extra precaution. I know it would be useless against a fire user, a Guardian, or a Strigoi but oh well. I sigh, hating how the day had to end, but almost happy that I got to make my own choices today, and got a friend out of it. And, taking the tags off my new wardrobe, I almost feel guilty for buying things different than I usually wore. But hopefully Mother would understand.

After organizing my closet, I grab my toiletries bag, and my nightgown, and head for the showers. Walking down the hallway, though, something feels wrong. I stop, and look behind me and in front of me, but sensing no one; I shake my head and continue walking. I hear a girl's chuckle and I swing around, completely turning in the opposite direction.

"Wh-Who's there?" My voice is shaking, and I know it's stupid, but the hallway suddenly seems like an alleyway. A _dangerous _alleyway. Turning back around, I quickly run for the showers. Once there, I lock that door as well, and notice that I am shaking. _Come on, Delila. Snap out of it! _Walking towards the line of showers, I chastise myself. And, turning on the shower, I focus on washing my hair.

Once out of the shower, though, that feeling that I'm not alone kicks in again. I shove that feeling away, and get dressed, brushing my hair out. And after brushing my teeth, I head out, looking both ways to make sure that I am alone. Once I start walking, however, I feel a brush of air against my arm and turn around, gasping. No one is behind me. Turning back around, I continue walking, although I pick up my pace a little. After about five feet, though, the same thing happens, only to my other side. And close to freaking out now, I turn once more, looking behind me and finding no one. And once again, I hear that chuckle.

Shaking it off, but feeling really scared, I keep walking, almost jogging to my room. Then as I passed by, a vase falls and shatters on the floor. Crying out, I turn around, dropping some of my stuff. I look around, but no one is there, and I feel someone's eyes on me. Not caring anymore, I turn and run as fast as I can back to my room. Unfortunately, a foot jumps out and trips me. Crying out, I fall on the ground, all my things being scattered on the floor.

Scared to turn around, I get up. But as I am nearly on my feet, someone, or something, kicks me _hard_ and I fall on the ground, starts dancing in front of my eyes. Rolling onto my back, tears form in my eyes. Sitting up, I find no one is around me, and terrified, I get up. And turn around…

"_Ahhh!_" I'm pretty sure that my scream could have been heard throughout the whole building, and I waited for students to pout out of their rooms, but I remember that no one is arriving until tomorrow. And realizing this, I look up…Into the eyes of a very dead, very _Strigoi_, Sofia Zeklos. I know she's one because of the red rim around her eyes, her chalky white skin, her fangs, and the hollow and murderous look on her face. I swallow, looking for somewhere to run. She laughs, making me jump.

"You have nowhere to run, _Delila_," she sneers my name. "And scream all you want, but no one will hear you. I can have my way with you and no one will even know you're gone! They won't even _miss _you!" Her voice grew steadily louder, and I did the only thing I knew how: run. It was a stupid move, and she stopped me just as quick, but it gave me the edge I needed.

Pulling up all the strength within me, I thrust air through my hands and into her, cutting off her air supply. She is coughing and choking, but that doesn't stop her coming at me. She gets her hand around my throat and lifts me up, choking me. I start to cough, but try to keep my focus on her. I also find the strength to lift up some dirt from the plant that fell earlier, and throw it into her eyes, making her cry out and drop me.

Once I'm on the ground, I suck in a gulp of air and scream. It was possibly the loudest, most shrill scream I had ever done, but it did the job. Three Guardians came up, including Demyan. I stopped mid-scream to cough. I didn't realize I had stopped using air on Sofia until she came up behind me and yanked me up by the hair.

"Argh! Let me go, Sofia!" She merely pulled my head back harder. She glared at the Guardians.

"One more step and I snap her ugly little neck! Or," she said, a sudden evil smile appearing, "I give her immortality."

"_Noooooo!_" My sudden scream, made her let go of me, and the Guardians moved. Before she realized it, two Guardians were on her, and before long, Demyan joined the fight.

Because she was a fresh Strigoi, she was stronger, but she was also sloppy. Her moves are based on strength, not power or control. It didn't take long for the Guardians to stake her. And then, they were disposing of her. I got up slowly, going over to my fallen things, and started picking them up. It hurt my back to bend down and straighten up again, so I kept staying bent down. But, I eventually had to stand up straight, and when I did, the pain that came with it brought me to my knees, making me drop all the things in my hands. Suddenly new hands were on my back, helping me up.

"What's wrong?" I would recognize that voice anywhere. It was Demyan, my ex-mentor. The feel of his hand on my back made warmth spread through me, and it eased the pain.

"Sh-She kicked me in my back," I say weakly. "I was walking to the showers when I felt someone watching me. And then I heard a laugh, but when I saw no one here, I shoved the thought aside. And when I was out of the showers, I kept feeling like someone was touching my arms, and then someone tripped me, but when I looked to see who, there was no on there." By now, my voice is thick with tears, "and then when the vase fell, I lost it. After she tripped me, I tried to get up, but she kicked me in my back. Then…Then I saw what she was. I screamed for someone, _anyone_, but no one was there," I look at Demyan, lost. His eyes are full of concern, with something else. "I looked for a way of escape, but she laughed and said that I had no way of escape and that she could have her way with me, that no one would even notice I was gone, and that no one would care to even miss me.

I tried to turn and run, but she stopped me. We were close enough that I summoned as much magic as I could and I…I tried to cut off her air supply, and I did, slightly. But, I'm not that strong so she easily grabbed my throat and choked me while I choked her. I summoned more of it and used some of the dirt from the fallen plant and got it into her eyes before she could compel me. It was around then that you guys came, after I screamed." I feel numb, and cold. Demyan takes my hand and his warmth spreads through me more.

"I'm sorry," he said, so completely torn that I looked at him.

"It's not your fault, Guardian Andreev. I could have asked a Guardian to follow me up to my room, but I didn't. It is not your fa-…"

"Yes, but _I _am your mentor, meaning that I should have followed you anyways, regardless of what you wanted. But, I didn't. I let you walk away without any protection." His voice is so far gone, I barely recognized it.

"Heyy, no one could have known that Sofia would have turned Strigoi," I say, wincing when he flinches at Strigoi, "so stop blaming yourself. I don't blame you, so you shouldn't either." He looks at me with that weird look again. "What?" I ask softly. He just shakes his head and gets me standing. "Ugh, did she have to kick me in my back?" He smiled sadly at that and I take that as a small victory for me.

"Do you wish for me to carry you?" I shake my head at him, but he rolls his eyes and picks me up, carefully. I gasp, and hold on, the pain blocking out any fears of being held by another person. For my benefit, though, he hurried. And soon we reached the infirmary, where I was put on a bed immediately and given an IV drip, where I fell asleep almost instantly.

….

When I actually wake up, it was to a surprising sight. Mother is here.

"Mother?" I wince at how hoarse my voice is. I clear it so I can speak somewhat normally. "Why are you here?" It was then I noticed how haggard and worn out she looked. "Mother?" I sit up straight, ignoring the protest my back put up. She just kept on looking at me. "Mother?" I was beginning to wonder if she is frozen when she snaps back into life and looks at me.

"I'm sorry dear, I've been here for three days, and it's starting to take its affect." My response is immediate.

"Then you should go. You need to feed and shower, and _sleep_." She looked as if she is about to protest, but I cut her off. "No. You need sleep and blood. So, go and get some. I'll be fine for a day without you, Mother. I promise," I say when she still looks skeptical. After a while, though, she gets up and, with a kiss to my forehead, leaves. I slump back down, noting that while my back protested the movement, it wasn't pain I felt, but soreness.

After a while longer, Demyan showed up.

"Hey, Sprout!" He said as he came in the room, taking up the seat that Mother had occupied a little bit ago. I glare at him. "What? Something wrong? Is my shirt on backwards?" He looks down deliberately and I laugh, against my better judgment.

"You called me 'sprout,' Guardian Andreev," I say. "I will have you know that I am not that small. And even though I am _smaller _than most, I can still hold my own, mostly." I am rambling and I knew it, but his presence here is making my heart race and butterflies grow in my stomach. And I honestly don't know what is wrong with me. I look over and he's smiling. He's freaking _smiling_. "Something amuses you, Guardian Andreev?"

"Yes, actually," he says smiling larger. "It would seem as if I make you nervous, and that, because of your nervousness, you have begun to ramble."

"So what if I am nervous?" His smile faltered slightly, and he turned his head sideways a little bit, listening for something. When he turned back to look at me head on, I couldn't look away.

"If you're nervous," he whispers softly, coming closer to me so he is inches away from me, "then that means I must affect you in some way. Good or bad, I do not know. I hope," he said, bending closer, "that it is a good nervous." And before I could form a reply, he pressed his lips gently against my cheek. I gasp, but don't pull away, the feel of his warm breath on my cool skin making me shiver. Pulling away, he looks at me with that expression I had been seeing for almost a month now.

Shooting upright, I gasp.

"Oh my gosh! The other students have arrived back at the school! Ugh, what if they know about what Sofia did to me? What will they say? What will _I _do?" I knew this would happen eventually, but I still am not prepared for it.

"It'll be okay, I promise." Looking at Demyan, I could almost believe him.

"Sure, whatever. I just want some sleep," I say, rolling slightly away from him.

"As you wish, Miss Daschkow," he murmurs, his Guardian voice back in place.

As he leaves, though, tears fall from my eyes and I sniffle, shaking as silent sobs encase my body.

Demyan Andreev

Hearing her sniffle was what made me turn back. When I did, I see that she is trying so hard not to sob, but I can tell she is, just by looking at her. What Sofia did destroyed, Delila. And there's nothing I can do for her. Looking at her once more, I turn away, trying to find some way to make this easier for her. Nothing comes to mind.

"Dammit!" I say to no one, walking around in my own room. All of my solutions dealt with things that a Guardian and Moroi could NOT do. Sighing, I continue to pace, hoping that an answer will come to me…

Delila Daschkow

After being discharged, I am met with a huge crowd of people; some I know, others I think are just here to see the freak. I try to get by them, which proves difficult when they all try to touch me. I use a blast of air at some of them, and while they are distracted, I make a run for it. I blow up the surrounding snow and make a getaway. I'm just hoping that it is fast enough.

The rest of the week continues just like the day I was discharged. Everywhere I go, I seem to run into people, and all want to see me, touch me, some even wanted to smell me. And I have had to use a lot of magic the past week, which had weakened me considerably. Leanna has helped to shield me whenever she can, but it is wearing her out as well…

So, today, I decide with one of my new wardrobe styles, which consists of dark wash jeans, a pair of metallic flats, and a dark brown tank top. Over top of that, I put my coat on. I put on the necklace that I got that accompanies the one Leanna has, and just left my hair down. And, making sure everything was okay, I peek out my door, making sure no one is around. Seeing no one, I walk downstairs and to the feeders.

Thankfully, no one saw me going to the feeders or coming from them. And, as usual, my mind is on Demyan. What is he doing right this instant? Will I see him today? And also, as usual, I am chastising myself for thinking of him. There is no future for us. I don't even know what we would be, but we both know that whatever _it _is, we cannot allow it to happen, but I want it to, surprising myself at how much.

All I do know? I am now the most fascinating thing at my school, everyone wants to make me almost have anxiety attacks because of my fear, no one knows what happened to Sofia, and I am completely falling hard for my mentor, Demyan Andreev.

One day, though, I actually asked Leanna how she and Alexio worked through things. She told me that they weren't easy, that they had had a lot of hardships to get to where they are, but that it was worth every minute of it. I asked why and she said that if you have love, than it is certainly worth dying for, and that her love with Alexio is worth dying for. I turned to Alexio and he said the same thing; that, no matter what, love like that is worth dying for and should be protected at all costs.

Sighing, I come back to where I am now, sitting at my old hangout: the fountain. And I can't help but envisage a different life, a different set of laws, a different time, and it is me and Demyan, sitting here, holding hands and so in love that even blind men could see it. He would reach over and kiss me softly on the lips because he is just that sweet. And I would smile and murmur that I love him, and he would say it back…

Looking down at the water of the fountain, a tear splashes in the water, making my clear reflection, ripple and distort. That would never happen, simply because I am who I am, and he is who he is.

"If you take away my name, my royal status, I have nothing. I am nothing. I have Leanna, but one friend isn't much. You have to have things worth fighting for. I would only have one. But," my voice is carried out in the silence, "if our lives were not so complex, I would have two things worth fighting for: my friend and the love of my life. That love would be worth dying for, I know it would. But, it cannot happen, although I am falling for him already. I don't know what to think, and I am scared. Scared of what I don't know and what might happen…But what I do know," I say turning around to look Demyan in the eyes, "is that whatever is happening between us is worth dying for. This is a love worth dying for." Demyan is over to me in a flash and he has my face cradled between his hands as he looks at me. He smiles softly and presses his lips against mine lightly.

It is like a jolt of electricity shooting through me. I gasp into the kiss and he deepens it, pressing his lips against mine slightly harder. I kiss him back, both excited and fearful of what we are doing. What if someone sees? Then I remember that this fountain is in a secluded area, and only a few people know of it. Guess Demyan did too…

Breaking the kiss, he presses his forehead against mine. I open my eyes, to find him looking at me.

"Delila," he says, and I nod, "this is so so wrong…But I'm all for it," he whispers with a rebellious smirk on his lips. I smile back and he kisses me once more, before putting some distance between us. "You have no Idea how bad this past couple of weeks have been," he said, looking into the fountain. I chucked.

"I bet my past couple of months top that," I said dryly, and he grimaced before he realized I am joking. He cracked a smile and looks at me.

"Delila Daschkow," he says formally and I raise my chin slightly. Holding back a smile he continues. "I apologize for any rude remarks or any rude behavior that has occurred the last couple of months. Do you accept my apology?" I pretend to think seriously about it, letting him squirm.

"Well, considering the fact that I do not approve of such behavior, I shall punish you," I say, a wicked glint in my eyes.

"Of course, Miss Daschkow. What sort of punishment did you have in mind?"

"Well, I want you to close your eyes," I say and he does. "Now, keep them closed, please. And he did. Then, as quietly as I can, I lean toward him, kissing him. It is just a peck on the lips but it still feels amazing. Pulling away, I say, "all right, you can open your eyes now." And when he does, his smile is so huge, I don't know how it doesn't hurt.

We spend a little while there, brushing up on my formal skills, before we head to my dorm, not touching or anything. We see Leanna and she rushes up to me giving me a hug. I laugh and ask how she has been and she answers, asking if I wish to go to the mall this weekend. I, of course, say yes, desperate for any alone time with Demyan. I look back at him to make sure it is okay and he smiles and says yes.

After a happy goodbye, we get to the dorm, and he walks me up to my room. Since no one is around, and there are no cameras in this hallway, he grabs a hold of my waist and pulls me in for a kiss. I gladly receive it, and kiss him back. It didn't last long, but he told me he would see me in the morning, and for once, I am actually glad I decided to stay…

**Heyy, Guyz! So, I Finally Finished This Chapter, And Lemme Tell You, It Wasn't Easy! But, I Successfully Did It, And Am Now Posting It…Hmmm, How Did I Do? I Know It Has Been a While Since I Have Updated This Story, But I Keep Getting New Forms, Lolz…So, Now It Is Meh Favorite Time:**

**REVIEW TIME!**

**EVERYONE LOVES REVIEW TIME, ESPECIALLY MEH! SO, PLEASE REVIEW!**

**AND I APOLOGIZE ABOUT THE WAY SOME CHARACTERS ACTED…IF YOU MADE THE CHARACTER AND ARE UNHAPPY, I WILL GLADLY CHANGE SOME THINGS AROUND AND MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!**eHeHHhhhhreif3ifnjh wn


	5. Silent Crush Part 1

**Heyy Guyz! Okay, I'm REALLY Bummed Bkuz I Haven't Been Getting Any More Submissions :(( ..So, If You Would, PLEASE SEND MEH SOME MORE CHARACTERS! I've Just About used all of the Characters already and I Want Some More Spice! Please, Help Meh Out! Again, I Haven't Updated In A While, Mainly Bkuz of How Many Reviews and Character Forms I'm NOT Getting..IDK, Might Give This Story Up :/ ..**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Anything Except The Storyline I Guess..Anyways…**

**Chapter 4 – Silent Crush (Anne Ross)**

"…Haha, take _that _you fiend!" Laughing, I jump around on the balls of my feet, circling my latest opponent: Natasha Anna Tijanov. Glaring up at me, she lunges to her feet, her movements sloppy. Dodging her attack, I laugh viciously. "Come on, is that all you got?"

At 5'6, almost 5'7, I am one of the tallest in my class. Well, except for Bellatrix, that is. I hear a growl and look over in time to dodge yet another of Natasha's attacks. Smiling, I land a blow to her side and, while she is distracted, I go in for the final move. Grabbing her, I flip her over, my hand poised above her neck.

"That was very good, Anne," Miss Sanders says. Any praise from her is worth celebrating over. Looking at her, I smile and bow. "Natasha, your form was a little off. Now, if this was a real Strigoi attack, you'd be dead." I smirk at Natasha and she just huffs and looks away. With a smug smile on my face, I sit down in my spot, taking a glance at Lorcan. Like always, he is staring off into space. And as if he felt me staring at him, his eyes dart over to mine. Looking away quickly, I mentally blush.

"Guardian Sanders?" My heart stops for a minute at the sound of Bellatrix's voice.

"Yes, Bellatrix?" She asks.

"If it would be all right, I would like to challenge Anne to a match," I feel eyes boring into the side of my head and when I look, I see the mischievous look on her face. I swallow and look away.

_Shit_, I think to myself. _I am royally fukked_. Keeping the smile on my face, I stand up and take my position, mentally shaking. Bellatrix is the best in the class, even though she's really depressed. Glancing over at Lorcan, I notice that his eyes are on me. Taking a deep breath, I face a somber, yet determined, looking Bellatrix.

Taking our positions, Miss Sanders blows the whistle.

Nothing happens. 1 minute goes by, and still nothing happens. 2 minutes goes by…Nothing. Some people are fidgeting in their seats, whilst others are holding their breath. I keep my eyes on her though, waiting for the slight movement of her body, signaling for attack. But, there is nothing. I've watched her fight, but have never been the one she was fighting.

Now I know why she's called The Punisher. Her attacks are as much mental as they are physical. She keeps to herself, except when fighting or with Saffron her best friend. Those are the only two times when she actually comes alive…Taking a deep breath, and letting it out, I start to circle around, stepping with my right, going left. She mimics me, our dance synchronized. And then, she lunges.

I block her attack, which affects me more than her, sending me stumbling backwards. Looking up, I try to land a blow to her side, which she quickly blocks, landing a kick to my stomach. I fall backwards, rolling over on my feet. Hissing, I come at her again, and she blocks my attacks, landing vicious blows on me. Finally, I snap.

Growling, I find the way to feign a move and get her on her blind side. Although the blow I land isn't as powerful, it does enough, putting her on the defensive side. Glancing away from her and back, I see a flicker of something deep in her ice blue eyes. Charging at her, our dance continues…

After almost 20 minutes of her landing blows on me with me just barley dodging them, and no one winning, Miss Sanders blows her whistle.

"All right, that's enough," she says firmly. Getting out of our positions, we stand upright and look at her. She puts her clipboard down and walks over to the cabinet where the melee weapons are. Gasping, the whole class starts to whisper. Stealing a glance at Bellatrix, I see a smirk on her face, but a hidden emotion in her eyes. Looking at Lorcan, his eyes are on the wall again. Placing my eyes back on Miss Sanders, I see what she has: two triton-knives **(like the ones Elektra uses) **and a sword. She hands the sword to me and the knives to Bellatrix.

"All right, now, I want this match to be a clean match," she says, and I smirk.

"Well, Miss Sanders, it's a little too late for that," I say sarcastically, making everyone laugh, except Bellatrix and Miss Sanders. "You see, I'm kind of sweaty…"

"That's enough, Miss Ross," she says sternly and I back off, slightly. "Your birthday may have been just yesterday, but that is no excuse. Now, as I was saying. I want no blood to be shed here, for this is merely a practice session. And seeing as Bellatrix has first-hand knowledge of these weapons, it would be good for you to see what sort of weapons you will encounter out there," and with a blow of her whistle, I look over at Bellatrix, seeing her in a fighting position.

Sinking into a fighting position, I feel all eyes on me.

"You see," Bellatrix says, moving to start circling me. I follow her movements. "Using these weapons makes you feel your body in different ways. You have to make your body and the weapon one, moving as a single system. One chink in the system," she says lunging, and striking me off balance, "will send the motherboard down."

I right myself and look back at her, seeing the ease at which she uses her knives. She dances in a circle, her one leg lifting up all the way, her left arm striking outward, whilst her right slides back. Everyone oohs and aahs at her. Smiling sardonically, she lowers her leg and continues to circle me. I lunge for her and our weapons clash together. At one point, she has my sword caught between her knives.

"You don't know what you're doing," she hisses at me. "I've seen what's out there, _really_ seen what it's like. Your practice fights are nothing compared to what a Strigoi is really like," and with that, she circles one knife around my blade and knocks it out of my hand, her other knife going to my neck. "And if this were a real fight, you'd be dead." Hissing in frustration and pure rage at her smug attitude, I lunge for her. She hesitates for only a second, and grabs me by the arm and flips me, my arm bent behind me. "Stop this, you're embarrassing yourself," she hisses at me. "You're a good fighter, Anne, you've proved that. So stop trying to destroy your reputation." Struggling to get my arm free, and sighing, I just nod, hating to accept defeat. She lets my arm go and I get up, glaring at her back while she places the knives and sword back in the cabinet.

_This isn't the end, Bellatrix_, I hiss in my head. As if she heard me, she glances at me. Looking away, I go and sit with my friends. Knowing me well enough, they say nothing about my defeat to Bellatrix. I think about what Miss Sanders said, about Bellatrix having first-hand experience.

"There's something weird about her, you guys," I tell them, "I hate to feel like Sofia, but she's hiding something, and I want to know what…" They all nod in agreement. _BBRRIINNGG_, the bell rings out, signaling the end of 4th. Getting up, I glance at Lorcan, but he's already gone. Sighing, I wave to my friends and walk the opposite way. _What I wouldn't give for him to be mine_, I think to myself.

Walking into my 5th period, Calculus, I sit in my usual seat, waiting for the rest of the class to get here. Sighing, I open my notebook and start to doodle, something I almost never do. A pair of eyes starts to form, followed by a perfectly chiseled nose. Hard lips in a grimace come next, and with them an angular chin. Black, thick eyebrows come with them and I continue to draw the rest of his face. Adding wavy black hair, giving it some sheen, I highlight the key parts. Biting my lip, I grab a black pencil and color in his eyes, hair, and outline his eyebrows.

Sitting back, I put my pencils down and look at the picture. With a gasp, I slam my notebook closed; looking around making sure no one saw it. _Holy shit, I drew Lorcan_. Feeling eyes on me I look up into the solemn, black eyes of Lorcan. Instantly, my heart picks up, and a weird feeling flutters through my stomach.

He is sitting across from me and with a smirk, he looks back down. I glance around me, seeing that the class is about to start. And with a sigh, I grab my Calculus notebook out, wondering why Lorcan can't be mine, and why I have to learn such a stupid class…

**oOo**

"…Hey, Anne!" Readjusting my bag once more, I bat my dark hair away from my face in time to see Bellatrix jogging up to me.

"Yes, Bellatrix?" I ask her coolly. She looks affronted at first, but the emotion is quickly hidden.

"Well don't sound so pleased, why don't you," she says sarcastically and I see a faint spark of who she used to be.

"Sorry, I've got things on my mind…" I reply, lamely.

"Oh, like Lorcan?" She asks so innocently. I look at her directly, and don't see them until I bump into them. Two girls are standing in front of us.

"Oops, I'm sorry," I say, when I see that they're younger. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Oh my gosh, it's Bellatrix and Anne!" The brown haired one says. The blonde one squeals.

"I can't believe I'm meeting you two! Can I have your autograph? Come on, pretty please?" I laugh at the two girls.

"Sure, what are you guys' names?" I ask them, grabbing the brunette's notepad. Bellatrix grabs the blonde girl's.

"Well, my name is Amber Haakman," the brunette says proudly. I smile at her.

"And I'm Shawntal Dragamir," the blondie says, and Bellatrix chuckles.

"Okay, what shall we make them out to?" Bellatrix asks.

"Well, people call me Shawny, so you can put that," Shawntal says. Bellatrix nods and signs it, doing the same for Amber. We give them back their notepads and they squeal some more and run off, but not before thanking us.

Shaking my head, we continue walking to our class. Conveniently, we both have the same 6th and 7th period. Strigoi 101 and People Management Skills.

"So, you like him, don't you?" Bellatrix asks me when we sit down. I look around to make sure we're not heard. "It's okay. We'll be in the safe range for another 6 minutes." I look at her, the question written all over my face. "Trust me, it's better if you don't ask. Now, do you like him or not?"

"Why is it any concern of yours?" I demand hotly. She rolls her eyes in a very unlike Bellatrix fashion.

"Well, I do hang out with him and his friends sometimes…" She says taking a sip of her drink. I sigh.

"Yes, I like him, Bellatrix," I tell her, opening my notebook from 4th and showing it to her. I shouldn't even be telling her this, but for some reason, I trust her. "I never doodle, but I drew this today." She nods in approval. And then she makes a noise in the back of her throat as if to say _uh uh_. "What?" I ask her.

"He has a scar above his right eye," she says. "Of course no one would ever see it since he's always looking down or away from people, but I saw it once, and no I'm not going to tell you where it came from, so don't even ask," she says, chuckling at my pout. I look away from her, putting the drawing back in my bag. I bite my lip, wondering how she seemed to know so much about him. The thought plagued me until the bell rang, signaling the beginning of class.

When class ends, we both get up and begin to walk to our last class of the day, seeing as afterwards I have a free period which I use to go train. I feel my muscles tense up as I remember the way Bellatrix took me down so effortlessly.

"Where did you learn to fight so well?" I ask her curiously as we sit down in our next class. She chuckles humorlessly. I glance at her and her eyes are far away, in a different time.

"I wouldn't exactly call it _fighting_," she says. "I'd call it _surviving_. There are things you don't know about me, Anne Ross. Things I don't wish to tell you. You are a fellow peer, a sparring partner, but you are not my friend. I don't think we can be friends," she tells me, looking at me with her ice blue eyes. I feel my jaw drop in shock and she smirks. "When I look at you, I see a part of me; a very old part of me, but a part nonetheless. I too used to be ignorant of the true dangers out there, I too used to think that I was on top of the world. But, you don't know what it's really like. Oh sure, there aren't Strigoi out there at every corner waiting, but they're out there. Sometimes right under your nose," she says with a bitter smile on her face. I faintly see what looks like three lines going down the left side of her face, disappearing under the collar of her shirt.

The bell rings then, and our conversation stops. My mind is buzzing with what I have learned, however. When we part ways at the end of the class, though, I feel her eyes on me as I make my way to the old gym. I can't help but think about what Bellatrix said. As I enter the locker room, I stop. Biting my lip, I pull out my laptop I keep in my locker, I log on to the internet.

Not knowing what I'm looking for, I go to our world's database and search in "Strigoi attacks." Surprisingly, not many listings come up. I search and search for what seems like days when a link jumps out at me:

_Disappearance of last Swan family member; after a mysterious happening at the Swan House, Lord Charles Swan's only daughter, Isabella, disappeared. What looks like the work of Strigoi has others worried…_

Biting my lip once more, I click on the link. When the page loads, I scan through the article. A picture of the Swan family is included and I click on it to enlarge it, gasping when a picture of a young girl pops up, who looks a lot like Bellatrix. Swallowing, I go back to the article, looking for her name.

"Isabella Swan," I murmur to myself, quickly typing the name in the search engine. Different articles of her family's murder pop up, but then one article catches my eye:

_After many years, Swan heiress found in clutches of renegade Strigoi. Bruised and bleeding, she was brought into custody for care; But, refusing to talk of any of the events that had happened, a long-lost family member came to take her away. Strangely, the "family member" doesn't even exist…_

I read the article and find out that after this Isabella was taken away by a family member, she was never heard from again. There are no pictures of her anywhere, except when the family portrait was taken before the attack. She must have been six or seven in that picture…

"This is crazy," I say loudly, logging off my computer and slamming it closed. "No _way_ is there any connections to Bellatrix and Isabella…No way!" Sighing, and trembling, I decide not to practice today and instead to just go back to my dorm and sleep. On my way, though, a voice stops me.

"Anne Ross," I hear a firm voice call out. I stop, turning to see Guardian Sanders behind me. I jump slightly before standing up straighter.

"Yes, Guardian Sanders?" I ask her, wishing for nothing more than to lie down.

"That was quite an exhibition in class today," she tells me. "But, I couldn't help but notice your glare aimed at Bellatrix. Nor could I help but notice that afterwards, you spoke with your friends about something. I questioned them and they said that you wished to find out more about who Bellatrix is. As a Guardian, I command you to do no further searching then I assume you already have. What is that old human saying? Ah yes, _curiosity killed the cat_," she quoted, and then with a stern look, she walked away. I watched her walk away and waited until I could no longer see her to narrow my eyes in suspicion.

"What are you all hiding?" I murmur to myself and turn around to continue walking to my dorm. The information I learned plays through my head as I take a shower and dress in my pajamas. When I am sitting in my room, it's then that I realize how little I know about Bellatrix. She moved here a little over 4 years ago, so she's 17. She's an excellent fighter, something happened to her and she doesn't trust guys at all, unless they're her friends, which is weird. How would you become friends with a guy unless you've known them much much longer?

I shake my head, my brownish-black hair falling over my shoulders in the process.

"I'm crazy, that's the only answer I can think of. That, or Bellatrix Marie is really Isabella Swan, and the reason why she's such a good fighter would be because she's learned to defend herself. But why would that make her not trust people? Especially guys," I think aloud. No one answers and I sigh, turning off the light and roll onto my side, closing my eyes. In minutes, sleep captivates me.

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

"…Wait, seriously?" I ask my friend, Amanda as we sit down in class. "Are you sure?" She nods fervently.

"Of course I'm sure!" She hisses at me, looking around to make sure we aren't heard. "I saw them myself. She had a couple bags with her and was putting them in a car. A couple of people were standing outside with her, and I _swear _one of them was…" Her words cut off as she looks over my shoulder. I look behind me and see Guardian Sanders coming into the training room.

I notice that her hair and clothes are faintly disheveled, as if she'd been in them for a long while, and had been doing some extraneous things. I look around the room and see, belatedly, that Bellatrix is nowhere to be found. Normally, she's the first one in here. Guardian Sanders doesn't bother asking where she is either, and when she calls roll, she completely skips over Bellatrix's name like she's not even here.

About half way through the class, when we're having a break, I go up to her, needing answers.

"Guardian Sanders?" I say, coming up to her. She looks up at me, giving me her attention.

"Yes, Anne?" She asks me in response.

"I, uh, I was just wondering where Bellatrix is. I noticed that you didn't call her name at all during roll call, and that you didn't bother looking for her. Has something happened?" I ask her, sincerely concerned, shocking myself. She looks a little shocked, but only in her eyes, for a Guardian learns to hide his or her emotions.

"Come with me, Anne," she says to me and tells the rest of the class that we will be back in a moment. I follow her out through the doors and down a hallway, leading to a back door. We exit through that door and are instantly outside. We walk a little farther into the tree line before she stops and faces me. "I did not want to say this inside with ears that can hear extraordinarily well," she begins, explaining her reasoning for bringing me outside. I nod to her and motion for her to continue. "Bellatrix did not wish for anyone to know her whereabouts, Anne. I tell you this only because if I don't, you would simply go to your friends to find out what happened last night…"

"So something _did _happen last night!" I exclaim, my jaw dropping. I feel a look of incredulity cross my features and look at Guardian Sanders.

"Yes, Anne, it did. I can say nothing more except that Bellatrix will not be with us anymore. Important family matters have called her away, and she will return when possible."

"But won't this mess up her graduating and becoming a Guardian?" I ask, hating the idea that she might not have the possibility of graduating like she'd always dreamed. I watch as a pained expression that even Guardian Sanders couldn't hold back, explodes on her face. She sighs heavily and looks at me, her expression torn.

"Depending on how long it takes her to come back, it is a high possibility, Anne," she tells me and in shock, I feel tears prickle behind my eyes. I shake my head furiously.

"No, sh-she has to graduate and become a Guardian! There has to be something someone can do! Guardian Sanders," I say coming up to her and grasping her arm, "you must do something. She's wanted this for as long as she's lived. I don't have to snoop around, or be best friends with her to know that. If she loses her chance at graduating, then she'll have to repeat everything! That would only slow her down in the long run, and you know it." Releasing her arm, I step back, taking a harsh swallow. I look away from Guardian Sanders to try and keep my emotions in check but when I look back at her I see how much this truly bothers her.

"You don't think I've thought about this?" She demands of me. "I implored her not to go, but she insisted that she had to do it, for her family's sake."

"But her family's dead!" I cry out in exasperation. Gasping, I place a hand over my mouth.

"What did you just say?" Looking at Guardian Sanders, I see an expression I thought I would never see in my life: a cold murderous look.

"I said that her family is dead. If she is who I think she is, her family was murdered by Strigoi and she was taken captive by one. For years she was held prisoner by that Strigoi, but she was found bruised and bleeding! She wouldn't speak of what happened, so a family member came and got her, but that supposed family member doesn't even exist. Bellatrix has only been here for 4 years. The girl that was taken captive by Strigoi was found 4 years ago! For God's sake, the girl looks just like Bellatrix!" By now, I am breathing a little more heavily and a single stream of tears has fallen.

"Where did you hear of such things?" I can barely hear her voice over the breeze blowing through the woods, but hear it enough.

"After you told me not to seek information about Bellatrix, it made me want to know more than ever, so I snooped. It wasn't that hard really. I just looked up _Strigoi attacks _and searched through article after article until one caught my eye. I read that article and looked up another article just about the girl. Her name was Isabella Swan then, but I believe that she is now known as Bellatrix Marie. It all fits, Guardian Sanders! What I don't get, however, is how the male sex has anything to do with it. From the conversations we have had, I have learned that she has first-hand experience with Strigoi, and that she got her heart broken by a guy so she doesn't trust them anymore, and I noticed scars going down the left side of her face, that disappear into the collar of her shirts.

She's extremely skilled, and remarkably old for such a young age. But, how does a _guy _have anything to do with it?" I look back at her and see that she is both in awe at what I have found, and angry.

"Anne Ross, as A Guardian I am appalled that you would do something like this. But, as a friend of Bellatrix, I am slightly grateful, yet angered at your research. I also know, despite what you say, that you care for her." At her words, my thoughts travel back to one of the first things Bellatrix said to me.

"She…She told me once that I reminded her of her old self," I tell Guardian Sanders and see how at that moment, her gaze becomes almost pitiful. "She…When we were fighting, she warned me that I had no idea what was really out there, that she did. I don't understand," I tell her sadly.

"No, you wouldn't," she says and smiles sadly. "And why would you? I want you to forget what you know, Anne. Forget everything about the information you know, if not for me, than for Bellatrix. Can you do that?" Mutely, I nod. "Thank you. Now come on back inside," she motions me to walk ahead of her and I do. When we get back to class, I realize it is almost over. She dismisses us to get changed and I do so in an almost catatonic state. When me and my friends leave, I feel her eyes on me and can't meet them, no matter how hard I try. For the rest of the day, I ignore the questioning glances and worried stares from my friends.

By the end of the day, I wish I could apologize to Bellatrix. After last period, I head to the old gym to practice like usual. It's not until I have a practice dummy almost in shreds that I realize how much I miss Bellatrix and hate how she might not graduate on time, and am so conflicted with my feelings for Lorcan on top of everything else.

I look at what's left of the dummy and sink to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest, letting the pain wash over me. Strangely, not a single tear escapes. I try to take deep breaths to cleanse myself but that only worsens things.

"Are you all right?" I gasp at the voice and shrink back. My heart picks up when I see Lorcan kneeling in front of me.

"Lor…Lorcan?" I ask, my voice betraying my incredulity. _Oh how beautiful his voice is_, I can't help but think to myself.

"Are you all right?" He asks again, his voice soft. This close to him, I see the scar that Bellatrix mentioned and also see how black his eyes are. Almost an onyx color, they seem endless, as if looking into them you could peer into your soul.

"I miss her," I whisper to him, noticing how my voice cracks. I look away from him, all my anger and pent up energy suddenly draining from me. I feel him sit down next to me and he drapes an arm across my shoulders. Despite my sadness, I feel warmth like no other course through me. _I love you, Lorcan_ I whisper in my head.

"I miss her too," he says to me gently and I look up at him, and a tiny gasp ensues from me. His face is mere inches away from me and his eyes, oh his eyes… I swallow nervously and look down at my hands again and see a faint tremor in them. I feel his fingers touch my chin and withhold a gasp again as he brings my face back up to look at me. "It's okay to miss the people you love and care for, Anne," he says to me and I shudder helplessly. I see an emotion cross his features before he hides it. His fingers stroke my face like a ghostly whisper, barely touching and yet lighting fire across my skin.

"Why…Why are you doing this?" I beg him in a sad whisper. A look of confusion spreads across his features and he looks down and away, dropping his hand from my face. He removes his arm and stands up, leaving me cold and feeling more alone than before. He looks back at me wordlessly and with a slight shake of his head he turns and walks away. When he turns the corner, I let out a heart-wrenching sob that echoes throughout the gym. I feel the tears fall and wipe them away furiously, getting up and screeching in mixed anger and pain.

I go at the dummy again and again, not even stopping when my knuckles are bloody from having hit wood and metal instead of the foamy stuff the dummies are covered in. I only stop when a pair of pale hands grab mine and pull me into a bone-crushing hug. Without looking up, I know it's him. I sob into his chest, hating how weak I must appear.

"Shh, it's all right," he whispers to me, stroking my hair. "Everything's going to be all right." I just nod, knowing that no matter what he says, it won't be…

**oOo**

After my breakdown, he fixes up my hands and kisses each of them gently. He strokes my hair and makes me look at him.

"She will come back, I promise," he says to me.

"How can you know that? More importantly, how can you two be friends? She's supposed to be afraid of guys, but friendly towards guys she's friends with. I don't understand," I say exasperated.

"You're not supposed to. Bellatrix and I go way back. I know her better than anyone else at this school, except for maybe a couple Guardians," his voice soothes me somewhat.

"Where did you get the scar?" I ask, not meeting his eyes.

"An accident, a long time ago," he says and I detect a faint tinge of pain.

"Does it have anything to do with the scars on Bellatrix's face?" I ask him and he winces.

"No, but mine is the result of them."

"I really don't understand now. You're saying that because someone, or something, scarred her beautiful face, yours got scarred in return?" His nod approves it. "But why?" He shrugs and smiles sadly at me.

"No one really knows, Anne. But, yes, that is what I am saying. You must believe me when I tell you that she will come back, however," he says, holding my face in his hands.

"I do believe you," I tell him. _But only because I love you so much_. On the outside, I look perfectly fine, but on the inside, my heart is aching.

"I must go," he says and with a kiss to the forehead, he leaves and I know that this time it is for real. Sighing, I get dressed and head back to my dorm to shower and finish some homework. I think about life here, about all the people.

There's Lorcan, Keith, Nathan, Sofia, Bellatrix, Saffron, Natasha, Melanie, Rid, Zane, Amber, Delila, and Shawntal. All of them I see on a regular basis almost. They are all my friends, or my fans, or people who dislike me. Of course, there are many more students here at St. Vladimir's, but those thirteen are some of the closest people I have to family.

I don't know who my mother is, and my father is off doing whatever, or whoever. How he could just so carelessly get rid of me, I don't know. Maybe because I'm a bastard child? For all I know, I could be. I sigh once more, and roll over on my bed, facing the empty room. Closing my eyes on another pained sigh, a single tear falls from my eye as I let the dark waters of sleep captivate me. And for once, I almost don't want to wake up…

**oOo**

It's almost been three weeks since Bellatrix took off. Strange how, when I sit in each of my classes, they seem so empty without her presence in them. In our fighting class, things have become boring for me. I don't put as much effort in fights anymore and the whole while, I feel Lorcan's eyes on me. Not once do I look up. I can't. If I do, he'll know how weak I am. Of course, I put on a brave face for everyone, but when I'm alone, I let down my walls. I don't hang out with my friends as much. Instead, I either train or study, feeling Bellatrix's absence like a weight on my soul. I wonder how she is, what she is doing.

I wish we could have become friends, despite our misgivings. I realize now that she didn't want to befriend me simply because of the pain it brought her to see me, a resemblance of her old self, on broadcast every day. Oh sure, we did talk about things. She told me of her mother and father, but never about how they died or what happened to them. I told her of my father and how I didn't know who my mother was, but never the pain it caused me.

So, today was like any other day. I had just finished training in the old gym and I am heading back to my dorm. I was just rounding the corner that led to my dorm when I ran into a body.

"My apologies," I tell whoever it is and look up into the beautiful blue-green eyes of some new kid. He smiles at me and I can tell he's a Dhamphire.

"No, forgive me," he says, taking my hand and kissing it. "I was not watching where I was walking and I bumped into you."

"Are you new here?" I ask, sensing something _bad_ about him. Only, it was a good kind of bad.

"Why, yes I am," he says and pretends to look sheepish but I see through it.

"May I ask your name?" I say to him, standing up straighter. He gives me a crooked grin and despite myself I can't help but smile at him.

"Lestat," he says bowing, "Lestat De Lioncour. I am at your service."

"Lioncour," I say absently. "That is French, I presume?"

"So she is smart as well as beautiful," he says and I smile. I offer my arm and he takes it; I lead him to the main offices and we talk the whole way. I learn that he already has four Molnija marks from Strigoi kills. Before we get to the main office, I give him a once over. Shaggy, shoulder length brown hair, piercing eyes, and he is fashioning a black long-sleeved T-shirt with metallic studs on it, along with black latex leather pants and black boots. A belt completes his look, and I can't help but think of how inhuman gorgeous he is. Apparently, he wears something leather every day…

When I drop him off to see the Headmistress, she tells me that I will be his guide while he is here. To that I smile, glad to have some company.

I meet Lestat's haunting gaze and know that I am in for a ride of my life…

**oOo**

**BKUZ I DID WHAT I ALWAYS DO, THIS CAME OUT TO BE WAYYYY LONGER THAN I PLANNED. SO, I SHALL MAKE THIS INTO TWO PARTS… THIS IS THE END OF PART 1 & I WILL UPLOAD PART 2 INA FEW MINUTES… KAY? **


	6. Silent Crush Part 2

**OTAY, SO… HERE IS PART 2 OF **SILENT CRUSH (ANNE ROSS) **… DON'T HATE MEH BKUZ I PUT IT IN TWO PARTS… SERIOUSLY, YOU WILL THANK MEH! SO, HERE'S PART 2 ::**

**Silent Crush (Anne Ross) Part 2**

**oOo**

It's almost been a week since Lestat has arrived, and my heart is glad for the distraction. Everyone asks if we are dating, and we don't deny it. Even though my heart longs for Lorcan, it's good to have someone to care for. We are in our fighting class early and are sparring.

"…You're pretty good for one so young," he declares, blocking one of my kicks. I laugh.

"You're just trying to—..." I gasp as he grabs me by the waist and flips me over, pinning me to the ground. In the position he has me in, my hands are trapped in one of his above my head and his other hand is stroking down my face and the side of my body.

"Distract you, I did," he whispers to me and I wink at him. He laughs and kisses me. I ache to run my hands through his hair and he releases them to hold my waist. I pull his hair not so gently as we kiss, feeling some sort of whole, even though I wish I could kiss Lorcan.

Lestat knows my feelings for Lorcan, and I know Lestat's feelings for the human he had to leave behind in London. Her name was Jesse; shortly after Lestat left, she mysteriously 'died', but even I know that someone killed her just so she wouldn't be with him. And since we cannot have the one we desire, it is a nice companionship.

A throat clearing to the right of me makes me break our kiss. Lestat pulls me into a standing position, but never takes is hands from my waist. I look over and see Lorcan staring at us with an expression I cannot describe. His gaze flickers to me and, showing him how much it's killing me not to be with him through my eyes, I grab Lestat and kiss him somewhat desperately. When we part, he takes my hand in his and leads me to a seat near the back of the class and takes his usual routine of kissing my neck the whole time.

I feel the envious stares and somewhat heated glares from the others in my classes. But, I do my best to ignore them. Every so often, I will catch Lorcan looking at me as if wanting to talk but at the last second, he turns away. It is because of this that I also took to slipping out past curfew to have a couple drinks with Lestat. I never drank too much, just enough to dull the pain.

**oOo**

**TWO MONTHS LATER **

It's almost been two months since Lestat has been here, and a month since Bellatrix came back. She says that she found a distant relative of hers, and that he will be arriving in a few days. I am happy for her. She has a new glow to her eyes, and she doesn't frown as much. She too questioned me about my relationship with Lestat and I ended up sobbing in her arms for almost two hours, telling her about what happened between Lorcan and I.

Ever since, she's been one of my closest friends, since all the other girls I used to call friends hate me. On the outside, I am a carefree smartass who is dating the hottest guy at school. But on the inside, my heart is screaming for Lorcan to be mine.

Lestat said he would help me to get Lorcan, if that's what he even wants. I told him, when I was drunk once, that if he could get Lorcan to admit he cared for me than he could have at it. So, now I am sitting on one of the benches waiting for Lestat to come back.

"Wait here for me," he had said. I sigh, shaking my head in the process. Just then, I hear voices and I look up to see Lorcan, Keith, and Nathan walking. They're about 30 feet away from me, but are close enough that they could hear me. I feel a tap on my shoulder and look up into Lestat's mischievous eyes. He smiles and makes me stand up, kneeling in front of me. He winks at me and glances at Lorcan and back at me. I gasp, understanding. I pretend to be anxious and bite my lip.

"Anne Ross," Lestat says formally, and slightly louder than he should. I see Lorcan and his friends look over at us through the corner of my eye and I smile.

"Yes, Lord De Lioncour?" I ask him in the same tone.

"Will you do me the honor or accepting these roses as a token of my love?" He pulls out a dozen red roses from behind him and I gasp for real at the gesture. I smile wistfully and nod.

"Of course, but whatever are they for?" I ask him. I see Lorcan and his friends are closer to us now and I smirk at that. Lestat stands up and takes my face in his hands.

"Because," he says kissing me on the lips gently. "My beloved Anne Ross…I am in _love_ with you!" He winks at me to let me know he's just kidding and I wink back. Out of the corner of my eyes I see Nathan and Keith pull Lorcan back and I gasp at that. I bite the inside of my cheek to make tears pool in my eyes and I blink so that they fall and smile at Lestat.

"I'm in love with you as well," I tell him, kissing him desperately. I pull away slightly and say in a louder voice, "will you let me give myself to you…fully? I wish to make passionate love to, my love!" I tell him, pretending to be excited at the possibility. He nods fervently and I hear a growl.

"Of course, my love. We shall go at once! And do not fear, for I will give you a pleasure you will never forget," and with that, he picks me up bridal style and carries me away theatrically. When we are far enough away, he pulls me behind a corner and tells me to be quiet for a couple of minutes. I don't understand until I hear angered voices.

"…How could she do that?" I hear an angry male's voice. I gasp and look at Lestat. It is Lorcan's.

"Why do you even care?" I hear Keith retort. "You said yourself you wanted nothing to do with her, but yet when she falls for someone else, you get all pissy."

"Yeah, dude," Nathan chimes in, "you didn't want anything to do with her. She had a major crush on you for the longest time, but you didn't even acknowledge she existed…" Real tears form in my eyes at their words and Lestat cradles my head in his chest.

"Do not worry, my love," he whispers to me, "give him a few days. He will realize that he is in love with you and then he will do everything possible to try to get you. But do not fear, I will make him work very hard for your love because even if I do not love you as I did my Jesse, I still love you. You are a sister and companion to me, and he is an idiot for letting you slip away. Here's a plan: tomorrow we shall get into a fight and then in a couple of days, we will make up from it but we will 'break up', allowing Lorcan to come into play. But, I will be the protective brother and will make it extremely hard for him."

"Sounds like a plan," I say to him. "Hey, why don't you go after Bellatrix? She could use someone in her life, and even though she is still a little hesitant with you, she likes you as an almost-friend. Besides," I say as we begin walking to my dorm, "you both are hurting over something deep and tragic that has happened, and maybe that pain will bring you together, healing you both?" He laughs beside me gently and kisses my forehead.

"I appreciate your attempt, but I would rather remain friends with her, and you starting in a couple of days," he says and I smile, kissing his cheeks before walking away, into my dorm room.

As I lay in my bed, about twenty minutes later, I look at the roses in the vase next to my bed. After a few minutes, I hear a knocking at my door.

"Yes?" I ask, and the door opens to reveal Bellatrix. "Oh, hey Bellatrix," I tell her, sitting up. She smiles and sits down on the bed across from mine. "What's up?"

"I have a proposition for you," she says, smiling hugely.

"What is it?" I ask.

"How would you like it if I moved into your room, or you moved into mine? Yours is bigger, but mine has a better view of the mountains and the campus. You don't have to, if you don't want to," she says quickly when she sees the frown on my face.

"No, no, it's not that," I tell her, meeting her eyes. "It's just that I've been in here on my own for so long that it would be weird if another living person was in here with me. I don't mind if you move into my room, that's not the issue. I'm just worried that we'll get in each other's way. And don't you already share a room with Saffron?" I ask her, mentioning the name of her best friend. She laughs softly.

"Saffron and I never shared a room, ever. She was always put with Melanie or Natasha," Bellatrix said simply. "I'm alone in my dorm room as well, but since there are going to be some new students coming in the next couple of months, I just think it would be easier, you know?" I nod my head and smile.

"Well, have you talked to Head—.."

"Yes, I've talked to her already," she says laughing. "She said if I could get you to agree, that it would be all right."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I ask her. "Let's get busy!" I say, throwing the covers off and grabbing her hand to lead her out of the room. We both laugh and run down the hallway to the stairs where we slide down the railing to the second floor. We run to her room, laughing the whole time. Surprisingly, she has as few things as me.

When we're cleaning out the final things, I see something shiny sticking out of the mattress. When I pull it out, I find a razor blade. Feeling in the hole in the mattress, I feel what feels like rubber bands; I open the hole and look inside of it and see some vials and needles, as well as a couple packets of razor blades and a small glass bottle of alcohol.

"Bellatrix," I say, pulling the stuff out, "what's all this for?" She looks over at me and turns two shades paler than what she normally is.

"It's no-nothing," she says, putting all of the items into a bag, throwing away the used razor. I take her arm in my hand and push up her sleeve, seeing faints lines across her wrists. She swallows nervously and I pull her into a hug.

"Oh, Bellatrix," I whisper and she starts to shake with silent sobs. She wraps her arms tightly around me, crying silently. I wish I could do something, but nothing comes to mind. I stroke her hair and whisper what I hope are comforting words. "Tell me what happened to you," I whisper and she pulls back from me to tell me her whole sordid story.

**oOo**

By the time she finished her story, we were both blubbering messes of tears.

"I'm so sorry," I tell her for the hundredth time. She doesn't say anything back to that but just smiles so sadly that I feel my heart break even further.

"Don't worry about me," she says, as we begin to make our way to our new room, "I'll be fine, in my own way. It's been this long and I've been somewhat fine. And now I find out a still have family; even though he's not a pure blood like me, he's still family and I'll love him as one. Now, I heard about your little love performance today, and I want to know all the details." I laugh.

"Pretty much, he declared that he was in love with me and gave me a bouquet of red roses. Of course, Lorcan, Nathan, and Keith were walking by at the time, so it made it even more hilarious," I say, chuckling. "Anyways, I told him that I was in love with him as well and that I wanted to give myself to him fully, that I wanted to make love to him. He whisked me off but we hid behind a corner and we waited for Lorcan and his friends to walk by.

We listened to Lorcan as he cursed Lestat for doing what he did. His friends simply told him that he shouldn't care because he had claimed for so long that he wanted nothing to do with me. The whole thing was actually pretty funny," I tell her as we sit down her stuff on the floor and bed. We begin placing her things around the room, and we have it all done in about 45 minutes. After that, we both just go to bed.

When we wake up, it's almost weird. For so long, we had both lived in solitary, and now there's another living person in the same environment. We laugh nervously, not knowing who should get dressed first.

"I have an idea," I say and construct a makeshift wall between our sides of the room using a blanket. Bellatrix nods at my handiwork.

"This could work," she says and we both laugh. "Oh, and I want you to wear this," she says, handing me a skirt and top. I look at her like she's crazy and she laughs. "Trust me, if this doesn't get Lorcan's attention, _nothing_ will!" Nodding, I begin to get dressed.

After we get dressed, we grab our school stuff and head down to the cafeteria for some breakfast. When we are outside the doors, however, I freeze.

"I…I can't go in there," I tell her and she peers through the half-open door and sees Lorcan and his friends. "Not like this," I say, motioning to the short skirt ensemble she loaned me. I look down.

What Bellatrix loaned me is not only challenging the dress code, but a first for me. The skirt is a short red and black plaid skirt with a black belt and chains attached to it. The top she loaned me is an ebony black tank top that is just low cut enough to show some cleavage, but not so low that my breasts pop out of it. With it, she pinned my hair half up so that some of it was tied in a ponytail, and the rest was laying down my back, making my hair seem longer. I borrowed black stockings from Bellatrix, as well as some black heels.

Looking over at Bellatrix, I see that today she has chosen a purple and black silk corset with silver inlays, along with black Tripp pants with purple lining. To complete her look, she is wearing black converse and her hair is perfectly straight, flowing down her waist. In the light, her hair is taking on a purple sheen. She has a choker necklace on and she has a smokey eye makeup. Bellatrix doesn't realize it, but she's very beautiful… She grabs my hand and squeezes it.

"You can do this, Anne," she says. "I believe in you." I look at her and she gives me a reassuring smile. Taking a deep breath and gearing up for battle, I smile and nod. As if an air user was with us, the doors fly open at our entrance, slamming against the walls. All eyes fall on us and the cafeteria falls silent. We tilt our heads up slightly higher and continue walking. My heels clack against the floor and I cast a glance at Lorcan. His eyes are nearly popping out of his head and I stop to look at him head on.

"What's that, Lorcan?" I ask him, cocking my head to the side, "a new fighting move called The Fly Catcher?" A few people who heard the joke laugh and Lorcan looks away, his jaw tensing up.

"There you are!" I turn at Lestat's voice and a huge smile erupts on my face.

"Lestat!" I cry out and almost run to him. He picks me up in a swirl hug and kisses me on the lips. I wrap my arms around his neck as we kiss and peek at Lorcan once to find he's glaring at Lestat.

We pull away and he entwines our hands together, walking us over to where Bellatrix sits, a look of pure disbelief and humor evident on her face.

"That was quite an exhibition for so early. Might I ask what you have planned next?" She asks, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Lestat tells her. She merely laughs. Lestat wraps an arm around my waist and I scoot closer to him. "So, when is your family member coming?"

"He is delayed because of the snowstorm he had where he's at," she says. "And because of Christmas break coming up, he'll be delayed even longer. So it'll be at least three weeks before he can even think of coming here." I feel for Bellatrix on that.

"Actually," I begin, an idea forming in my mind, "Bellatrix might be able to help." Lestat looks at me, the question in his eyes. I laugh and shake my head. "I'll write it out for you," I tell him. Grabbing a piece of paper, I scribble:

**What if we get into a fight because I 'found' you both making out hardcore?**

He laughs loudly and shows Bellatrix the paper. She gets a wicked smile on her face and nods fervently.

"This should be awesome," she says. "But, it would have to be in a place where some of your friends are, Anne. So that you can get the gossip of it, and when you just so happen to come and demand to know the truth, BOOM!" She says, making gestures with her hands. I giggle quietly and nod.

"I'm game if you are, Lestat," I tell him sweetly and he smiles, kissing me helplessly on the lips. I kiss him back eagerly and before long, I'm in his lap. A loud throat clearing makes us separate and I look over to see Bellatrix restraining laughter. "Sorry," I say. "Okay, let's do this. Just remember that whatever I say isn't true. I love you both," I tell them. I give Bellatrix a hug and Lestat a kiss before leaving to go 'get some more practice in before class.'

**oOo**

When class actually begins, Bellatrix makes it just as the bell rings and she is faintly flushed. I faintly wonder why but brush it off, knowing why. She glances at me and looks away quickly. It's confirmed but I pretend to let it bother me. I wait until our class is over to 'confront' her.

"Hey, Bellatrix," I tell her and she looks back at me, faking a wince.

"Yeah?" She asks and I pretend to look affronted. I see a glimmer of amusement in her eyes.

"I meant to ask you why you were flushed coming in to class before," I say and she laughs nervously.

"Oh, I was just, um…I got into an argument with someone," she says and she bites her lip. "Look, I gotta go," she says and walks away quickly before I can get another question in. I wait patiently for someone to come up to me.

In 5th Period, it happens. I'm sitting in my usual seat when a few girls walk in and are whispering animatedly about something, glancing over at me occasionally. I pretend to be bothered about it, but try to ignore it. My friend Amanda comes in and she has a regretful look on her face.

"What's up, Amanda?" I ask, concerned. She sighs and sits down beside me. I can see out of the corner of my eye that the girls who were just talking about me are now listening intently.

"It's…It's about Lestat," she says sadly and I look up at her.

"Why, what's wrong? Has…Has something bad happened? Is he okay?" I ask, pretending to be the worried and oblivious girlfriend.

"He…He was talking to Bellatrix in the library, and I was there, you know? Well, they were having some sort of deep conversation about something when he grabs her hand and they looked at each for five minutes I swear," she says. "Then, he entwined their hands together and led her away from the teacher's eyes. I didn't want to pry, but I was curious so I kinda followed them, you know? Anyways, when I followed them, I found them _making out_ in one of the back shelves. And they were _really_ into it, you know? And I knew I had to tell you because a friend wouldn't not tell another friend, right? And so then when things were getting pretty heated I – Oh my God, I didn't mean…I mean, Anne…" During her tirade, I had bitten the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw tears to my eyes and now I let them fall. I pretend to take a deep cleansing breath that comes out shaky, and shake my head.

"There's no way. I don't believe that," I tell her, shaking my head. "They wouldn't do that to me. I-I know them…" Amanda cuts me off.

"Are you sure about that?" I look at her, begging to know more but hating what might be said. "I mean…He only moved here, what, a month ago? And you two only started talking around then as well. What if they were both, I don't know, _lying _to you?" At that moment, real tears decided to form. I knew the truth, but what if I was hurting a possible relationship? I made my lower lip quiver and sniffle. I blink away the tears and take a deep and shaky breath. I sniffle again, wiping away the tears.

"I'll confront them about it at lunch," I say. Lunch is after 5th so it will be easier. Amanda looks worried for me, but gives me a reassuring smile.

"I'm here for you, Annie," she says, using the nickname she gave me. I smile at her and thank her.

I turn to the board and copy down notes. When the bell rings for lunch, Amanda walks with me to the cafeteria. When we get there, I see Bellatrix and Lestat sitting across from each other, but still very close. I pretend to be offended and look scared and angry at the same time. Amanda gives me a reassuring shoulder squeeze and I stalk to the table.

"Is it true?" I demand of them, scaring both of them. They look at me, confusion on their features. "I said, is it true?" I ask again, my voice raising.

"Is what true, love?" Lestat asks, trying to reach for my hand. When his fingertips touch me I wrench my hand back and slap his hand away.

"I _know _you're lying to me!" I yell at them, and am glad to see that I've caught some people's eyes. I give them the signal that says I don't mean it, which is for me to put my hair behind my ear. Bellatrix does the same, and Lestat ruffles his hair.

"Look, Anne…" Bellatrix begins, "It's not what you think…"

"Oh, so you're saying it's _true_?" I yell at them. "How could you do this to me? I trusted you both! Especially you," I say pointing a finger at Bellatrix. I belatedly notice that I've caught the attention of everyone in the cafeteria and hide a smirk. I bite my tongue this time and cause tears to form. "How could you both betray me like this? I _gave _myself to you!" I screech at Lestat and he winces. He gets up to stand in front of me but I backhand him, sending him into the table. He gasps, and even I'm surprised I hit him. But apparently he thinks good of it because he ruffles his hair again.

There are gasps around the whole cafeteria and I know that this is becoming huge.

"I don't know how to explain this," Bellatrix says, standing up but staying away from me. "There's really no way _of _explaining it. All I can say is that I'm sorry, Anne. Please forgive me?" I gasp incredulously.

"Forgi…You want me to _forgive _you? How can I forgive you for making out with my _boyfriend_?" I screech, the tears falling from my face.

"Please, just let us explain," Lestat begins but I silence him.

"No," I say so coldly it shocks me. "You should have thought of this _before sticking each other's tongues down your throats!_ THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM FORGIVING YOU! I want you out of my room by the time I get there after practice, do you understand? Take these back while you're at it," I aim at Bellatrix, whilst tossing her shoes at her, and she nods mutely. "As for you," I say going up to Lestat. "I want you out of my life. Don't talk to me, don't call me, and don't even _look _at me. We are through!" I screech at him before turning and running out of the cafeteria, tears streaming down my face. I run out into the cold November air, my feet touching the freshly fallen snow. My breath fans out in clouds of vapor, and my hair blows behind me as I run.

With each stride, I feel my muscles loosening up, making me go faster and able to take longer strides. "What I've Done" by Linkin Park pours through my mind as I run, and I don't notice how far I've actually run until I notice that I've come across an old Guardian cabin. I look around it and decide to head back to campus. I skip 6th and 7th Period, instead going into the old gym to practice.

I practice until my hands are bleeding, and my feet are throbbing, but even then I continue until both are almost numb. When my actual practice time is over, I walk outside and wrap my arms around me, feeling numb inside and out. Whenever I pass a couple of people who saw the fiasco in the cafeteria, I sniffle and hunch over.

I finally collapse against the fountain that's hidden behind some trees and bushes. I sob and stick my hands in the frigid water. I hear a twig snap and look up to see Lorcan.

"What do you want now?" I ask, making my voice numb and sad. "Come to gloat? Maybe show some fake sympathy, stitch me up, then walk away from me some more?" I can see how much my words affect him, and I feel real tears pool in my eyes at the fact that Lorcan will never be mine. He might care somewhat, but I will never be with him. I sob harshly at that realization and he kneels in front of me, placing his jacket around me before wrapping me in his arms as well. I shiver from the contact, despite my cries, and he buries his face in my hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispers to me. "You heard us that day, didn't you?" He asks and I nod. "I'm sorry for that as well. Anne, there is so much that needs to be said bu—…"

"I know," I say, interrupting him. "You care about me, and are fond of me, but it's merely that. You're no good for me and I am better off with someone else. You don't want to be with anybody, let alone me, and you're comfortable being the eternal bachelor. You have to focus on becoming a guardian, you can't have any distractions. But most of all," I say, crying because of what's next, "You would rather be acquaintances with me because that's easier than even being friends. You say you wish to be friends, but yet you will make no move to do so. And now I bet you're going to say 'let's get you out of this cold weather and inside so we can fix you up,' just because that's how you are," I tell him.

"Anne…" he says and I know that every word I spoke is true.

"I'm fine, Lorcan," I say, using his name to him for the first time. I pull myself out of his arms, noticing how the cold suddenly fills me. I take his jacket off and hand it to him. "Thank you for…I don't know and I don't care at this point," I say walking away, but stop to turn and glance at him over my shoulder. "Bye, Lorcan," I whisper and know that this will be the last time I speak to him. I wrap my arms around me and walk back to my dorm, letting the tears fall freely and not caring that everyone I pass stares openly at me.

When I get back to my room, I see that Bellatrix's stuff is out, just like I told her. But, the finality of it makes me sob harshly, and I grab the vase of roses and throw it against the door, the water, roses, and glass going everywhere. I slide down to the ground and curl my knees up to my chest. My phone buzzes in my pocket and it's Lestat texting me. I sniffle and text him back.

_**It's over…I don't want to try to get Lorcan anymore; I meant what I said, partially. I need to think and be alone for a few days…I'm sorry and I love you both…**_

Sending the text, I slide my phone across the floor, ignoring it when I hear it go off. I eventually get up and make my way to my closet, grabbing a tank top and a pair of sweats and some clean underwear and a bra before shedding the outfit Bellatrix loaned me.

**oOo**

Once I'm dressed again, I pull on my boots and walk downstairs, knowing it's almost curfew. I tell the lady at the desk that I need to see the nurse because of my hand and she obliges, giving me a pass. I make my way to the nurse and she patches me up, tsking at my hands. I tell her I did it when training, that I skipped 6th and 7th period to train more.

I asked her if she could write me a note, allowing me to go see my teachers. She writes one for me, as well as what to do for my hands. I give her my thanks and head out. When I go to my 6th Period teacher, she's understanding and lets it slide since we didn't do anything in that class. My 7th Period teacher lectures me for 5 minutes before softening up slightly and giving me a couple worksheets to do. I make my way back to my dorm finally and take a shower before doing the worksheets and heading to bed.

After I wake up and get dressed, I don't go to breakfast, instead get Amanda to buy me something from the vending machines. She brings it to me and I thank her. When I enter my fighting class, everyone quiets at my entrance. I try to ignore their stares as best as I can, but after five minutes of nonstop staring, I snap.

"Okay, seriously? What the hell is so enchanting about me today? Stop looking at me or I'm gonna punch each of you in the freaking face," I threaten, and they all look away. Guardian Sanders begins class then, and whenever I'm called to spar, everyone fidgets in their seats, knowing I'm ticked off. Each person who is called to spar on me is nervous. They don't hold back, and neither do I.

When Lestat is called to spar with me, I first put on a surprised look, which slowly turns into a saddened one, followed by a look of sheer hatred. When we begin to spar, it shows how skilled he is. Of course, my 'anger' gives me edge and I soon am beating the living crap out of him.

I flip him over my shoulder and punch him square in the nose, hearing a snap of it breaking. Blood spurts out of his nose and he looks at me incredulously. I pant lightly, a bead of sweat trickling down the side of my face. My hands are raw and bloody, but yet, I stand up straight and look at Guardian Sanders who nods at me, before walking back to my seat.

The rest of the class continues in this fashion. When class is dismissed, I'm the first one out of it, and ignore Bellatrix and Lestat's calls after me. I don't see either of them until 6th Period when I have Bellatrix in my class. She tries to talk to me, but I ignore her. Occasionally, I'll put my hair behind my ear, letting her know it's all for show. It continues like this for a couple weeks.

**oOo**

I eventually 'made up' with Bellatrix but now we don't really talk much. Lestat switched his 1st and 2nd Periods around so he would have a fighting class 2nd instead of 1st. I try to be normal for Amanda, but it just doesn't happen. I've completely fallen for Lorcan, and it's killing me because there'd be no future for us if we ever dated. I catch him staring at me in the few classes that we both have and I pretend to ignore them. When 6th Period ends, I make a mad dash to my next class, hating that stare.

And when 7th Period ends, I make my way to the old gym to practice like always. When I exit from the locker room, however, I gasp when I see Lorcan waiting for me. He looks up at my entrance and I can see a look in his eyes that makes my heart race and a fluttery feeling sink into the pit of my stomach. I swallow and look down before looking back up.

"Yes?" I ask, feigning indifference. I make my way over to the weights to begin stretching. He doesn't answer, and after five minutes, there's still no answer. "What do you want, Lorcan?" I ask him, turning to face him. He was looking at the floor, but now he looks up and I see a pain in his eyes I've never seen before.

"When Keith and Nathan told me that you'd had feelings for me, I was shocked," he says, shaking his head sadly and looking away. He gazes at the wall as he speaks, "But I was even more shocked to realize that you'd fallen for someone. It shouldn't've bothered me at all, but it did to a disturbing degree. I never understood why it did until I saw you by the fountain that day," he says, speaking of the day in which Lestat and I broke up.

"And why did it bother you?" I ask, doing leg stretches.

"Because I realized that I liked you," he says and my gaze flickers up to his and I can feel the shock and incredulity pouring off of me in waves. He grimaces at my expression and nods. "Yes, I can see why you would doubt it so much. But, it hardly matters now," he says sighing. "Seeing as you fell in love with Lestat." _Oh how wrong you are! You are my love, no one else! _ I scream at him in my head and heart, but he doesn't hear.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I ask him, a sense of dread filling me.

"Because I'm leaving in a few days for Christmas break," he says, and I get a look of confusion on my face. "My parents might be enrolling me into another Academy," he says, gauging my reaction. I'm thankful for having looked away because a pain like no other shoots through me and I close my eyes as a sharp pain goes through my heart.

"Why would you want to leave St. Vladimir's?" I ask him and he shakes his head.

"I guess…I guess because I didn't get what I wanted. Besides, there are other Academies in the US that are _warmer_ than here. Not so warm that a Moroi couldn't go there, but warm enough that you could feel the sun and enjoy it. It'd be a nice reprieve," he says and I gasp, realizing something.

"You don't speak…" I tell him, my voice drifting off at the end. "I mean, you don't talk at all in class, and you talk to your friends but…You talk to me, and I'm not really a friend at all," I tell him, looking up at him. "Why? Why do you talk to me, but no one else? You've said more to me in the past month than you have in the past year to both Nathan and Keith," I tell him and gasp at what I just let slip.

"You've been watching me?" He asks and I sigh. I meet his curious eyes and sigh again.

"Yes, because once upon a time I had the biggest crush on you, Lorcan Donskoy," I tell him, looking away so he won't see the tears in my eyes. "It was a stupid schoolgirl crush, but I had one on you. I would watch you, see how silent you always were, but how almost alive you would seem when with your friends. I always wondered why you were so silent, if there was any medical reasoning. I've watched you for almost 5 years," I tell him and close my eyes tightly. "Don't worry, though," I begin, "I've gotten over it. After all, crushes only last so long right?" I tell him, lying.

"Yes, of course," he says, but I sense that something has gone from him. A light of sorts. "Well, I must be going I guess; I just wanted to tell you goodbye ahead of time."

"But why would you want to?" I ask him.

"Because I knew you would be upset if you had to find out from someone else," he says.

"So, are you going to come back?" I ask, begging him to with my soul and eyes. He gives me a small sad smile before answering.

"I don't know," he says before turning around to walk away from me for the second time. I feel my heart break into pieces even further and throw myself into training.

When I see Lorcan in class the next day I'm almost relieved. My mind is always on him, every second of the day. I'm glad when I see his glum face in my classes. It almost gives me hope.

But one day, something changes… I walk into my fighting class three days after my conversation with Lorcan and see that he's not in his usual spot. I look for him, but he's nowhere to be found. Guardian Sanders begins to call his name, thinks better of it, and continues with roll call. And by the time 5th Period comes around, still no Lorcan. I decide to skip practice today and just head to my room. When I get there, however, a single red rose with a black silk ribbon tied to the stem is lying on my bed with a note attached to it. I pick up the note, seeing my name scrawled on the outside of it in a beautiful hand. I open the piece of paper and see two lines written:

_**You have my whole heart, you always have. I never realized what I had in you, and I'm sorry.**_

Feeling tears form in my eyes, for some unknown reason, I let out a small sob.

There is no signature, not even an initial. I almost figure it to be Lestat, but I know it's not. It couldn't have been Lorcan because that's both stupid and unrealistic. So who could it be? I ponder that thought all night and the next day.

**oOo**

When students begin leaving, I begin spending all my free time practicing. Bellatrix flies off with Saffron to spend break with her parents, and Lestat goes off with some of his friends. Amanda wanted to stay behind, but I told her not to. So now, I'm spending the next two weeks training and alone. Of course a few other students stayed behind, Like Delila Daschkow and Leanna Bloodthorn and her Guardian Alexio, but I never saw them anyways so it doesn't really matter.

A thought that always crossed my mind was about Lorcan possibly not coming back. I hoped for all I was worth that he would, but a feeling in my stomach told me that he wasn't.

When there was three days left of Christmas break, I took a look in the mirror. It had actually been a while since I last looked at myself and I was almost shocked. My once shoulder-length hair is now a little shorter than Bellatrix's. The waves in it aren't as striking, and they accent with my slightly paled skin. Having had little sun in the past few months paled my skin out a little, but my tan is still there. I flex my arms and see that I've built up quite a bit of muscle. I lift up my tank top and see, if I was a guy, I would have manly abs. I'm skinnier than I used to be as well and I grimace. A knock on my door makes me look up and I unlock it and open it to reveal a Guardian.

"Yes?" I ask him.

"I'm sorry to bother you but there's been an accident and I've been asked to escort you to a private area," he says looking around. I grab my jacket and follow him downstairs and outside. In human world it is almost 1:00 pm and I faintly consider how lucky humans can be at times. I follow the Guardian I don't know over to the buildings by the old gym and the infirmary and notice that he takes me around back to a secret entrance. I raise my eyebrows in question but he shakes his head. "Later," he says and I nod.

"Can I ask what has happened that is causing me to be here?" I ask him and he stops to look at me. "You said there was an accident…?" He sighs.

"There has been an accident. There was a Strigoi attack," he says murderously and I gasp.

"Where?" I demand, preparing to be sent out early to fight or something.

"A couple of states over, but too close for our comfort. What was weird about this Strigoi attack is that the Strigoi in question didn't attack Moroi or humans…They attacked—…"

"Dhamphires?" I add in and he nods. "But why would they do that?"

"Apparently, a family of Dhamphires crossed a Strigoi, made a deal and at the last second backed out. One of the family members managed to get away but…It's not a pretty sight. He was almost dead when he came to us," he says and a cold fear rushes through me.

"What…What family?" I ask, hoping it's not…

"The Donskoy family," he says and his look turns sympathetic when he sees my pained face.

"So, who's here? And why must I be here?"

"Their only son, Lorcan," he says and I feel tears pool in my eyes. "And you must be here because you are the only one who can be trusted with this. He seems to be closest to you, and he's…" the Guardian trails off, unsure if to continue or not.

"What? What is it?" I demand of him and he sighs.

"He's been asking for you since we brought him here," he says and I feel like dying.

"Let me see him," I tell him and he motions to a door. I go through it and I see Lorcan hooked up to machines and tubes everywhere. He appears to be sleeping but when I make a small cry, he opens his eyes.

"Anne," he gasps out and tries to lean forward but winces in pain. I go over to him, shushing him. "Anne, I'm so sorry…"

"It does not matter," I tell him, stroking his face gently. "Shh, I'm here; everything's going to be okay, I promise. I'm here," I tell him again and he looks into my eyes with an expression I've never seen before. I do my best to ignore it and turn to the Guardian. "So how long do wish me to stay here?"

"We would like for you to check on him daily and have allowed you to replace one of your classes and come here instead. Which one would you like to get rid of?" He asks me and I answer without hesitation.

"7th," I tell him. "After that I have free period which I use to train in the old gym. Seeing as the old gym is only about 100 paces away, it'll be easy to come back and forth." He nods at my decision.

"Very well, but you must go back to your room now and get some sleep. You've been up for quite some time," he tells me and I grimace.

"Yeah, I know. Hey, what is your name?" I ask him and he smiles at me.

"It's Fork," he says, "Fork Matthews." I smile at him.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Guardian Matthews," I tell him, casting one last glance at Lorcan before kissing his forehead and leaving.

"You are kind to do this," he tells me when we are walking. I shrug my shoulders.

"I've known him for 5 years," I tell him. "I would hope that if something like this were to happen to me, he would do the same…" Guardian Matthews merely smiles secretly and we stay silent the rest of the way back to my room. When we get there he bids me goodnight and disappears. I sigh and enter my room, falling asleep instantly when I lay down.

When I wake up, I go to Lorcan. He is still asleep when I arrive, so I sit down on a chair next to his bed and watch him. He looks so peaceful when in sleep but…doesn't everyone? I sigh and shake my head. After about 20 minutes, Guardian Matthews enters the room and smiles at me.

"Good morning," I tell him and he nods at me. He hands me a cup of coffee and I gladly accept it.

"So how long until he fully heals?" I ask him, watching Lorcan's even breathing.

"He's healing exceptionally well considering the wounds he received. I would say no more than a week," he says and I hide my disappointment.

"Oh, I see," I tell him and take a sip of my coffee. "Well, what am I supposed to do after he heals? Do I just go back to my class or am I going to be given something else?" Guardian Matthews traces the rim of his cup with his tan fingers and watches Lorcan's machines like they're fascinating. "Guardian Matthews?" He sighs and looks at me.

"After he fully heals…We'll deal with it when the time comes." I sense there is a lot that everyone isn't telling me and I narrow my eyes at him. He laughs softly. "I can see why he would be crazy enough to try and make his way back here, even if it meant dying, just to see you again."

"I'm sure I don't understand what you mean," I tell him, taking the chance to look at Lorcan.

"You mean you don't know?" He asks incredulously. I sigh, annoyed.

"You know, it's very irritating for people to ask me questions about things I have no clue about! You tell me I have to come here to watch over him, but yet I don't know what good I'll do that the nurse hasn't done already! You won't tell me what is going to happen when he heals, and yet you expect me to just be able to take your word! And now you want me to know something about Lorcan that I can't even begin to fathom! You're all hiding things from me, and until I get the truth…" I say, standing up and throwing my cup in the trash can, "You all can watch over him your own damned selves!" I loud enough to waken Lorcan. I cast a glance at him before running out of the room, ignoring his cries for me to come back.

I don't stop running until I've reached the opposite side of the campus. But even then I don't stop. Not when I see the old Guardian cabins, or when I feel the wards falling behind me. I keep running until I can't run anymore. When I finally stop running, I'm in the true woods. I'm in what could be Strigoi territory. But strangely, that thought doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I hear a twig snap behind me and know enough about Strigoi to not turn towards the sound. Instead, I back up against a tree and look around me. I calm my breathing down and close my eyes to listen.

I strain my ears and I hear them. At least two other bodies moving in the trees. I force myself to be calm, while mentally kicking myself. I wait for the attack, but nothing is coming. They appear to be talking. Cautiously, I step away from my tree and towards them. I hide behind trees until I can hear what they are saying clearly.

"…So you mean we _didn't _get the son?" I hear one ask. His voice sounds so cold it sends a shiver through me.

"No, he managed to get away. But, they have him and are watching over him. They have this pretty little thing watching over him too. She's a Dhamphire," I hear the other one say. His voice becomes almost dreamy when he talks of…I gasp when I realize he's talking about me.

"Oh, really?" The leader asks. I peer around the tree and creep closer until I can see them. Two pale as death figures are standing by a cave entrance with a small fire about ten feet away from them.

The one who had first spoken about me is tall, pale, with red eyes, and I can tell he used to be a Dhamphire. His hair is a shaggy brown that fans around his face. Judging from his build, I would say that he is extremely strong. The other one, the one who spoke about me, is extremely pale as well, with the red eyes, but his hair is deep black and down his shoulders and half way down his back. He too used to be a Dhamphire before turned. I name the one with the brown hair Shaggy, and the one with the black I name Shadow. Shadow looks at Shaggy.

"Yes," Shaggy says, "she's a cute little thing. Very stubborn and cocky sometimes. She's kind of tall, maybe 5'6" or 5'7". Her hair is so dark brown, it's almost black. It's now just above her waist from not cutting it lately. She trains excessively. And for a while she was dating the ex boyfriend of that girl who mysteriously died," Shaggy says and I gasp because they're talking about Jesse.

"What was that?" Shadow asks and I curse myself. I hold my breath and watch them. "Hmm, probably nothing. Jesse, would you and Annabeth come here for a moment?" I watch as out from the cave, two scary-beautiful Strigoi come out of the darkness. One of them has striking ginger red colored hair that's pin straight and to a little below her shoulders. She's sleek and gorgeous, but there's an underlying sadness behind her dead red eyes, and I sense that she was turned forcefully.

The other one makes a weird feeling weave around my stomach. The other woman was clearly turned by choice, but that's not what has me feeling weird. Her hair is the same shade of brown as mine, only her hair is an endless amount of curls. They accent with her red eyes and pale skin and I feel like I should know her. I know the red head is Jesse, so I give the one who looks like me almost Curly, before I remember her name is Annabeth.

"You asked for us," Jesse asks Shadow and he nods.

"It would appear that the Guardians have a Dhamphire girl watching over the boy," he says looking between them. "We need that boy, do you understand?"

"But surely, Roman," Annabeth says to Shadow, "we don't _need _him. What is so special about the boy?" I look over at the one she called Roman and I anxiously await his answer.

"That boy, Annabeth," Roman says to Curly, "that boy was promised to us. He has a rare blood disorder that makes him valuable to us. I will say no more on that issue. I have a job for both of you, however," he says looking at Jesse and Annabeth. I look back to Shaggy and he still looks dreamy thinking about me. "I want you to keep an eye on the girl. I have a message for her," he says and looks into the woods in my direction. "We are coming, and no one, not even her precious Guardians, will be ready."

"May I ask, who she is, Roman?" Annabeth asks and Roman gets a sick grin on his face.

"Her name is Anne Ross," he says and Annabeth, if possible, turns two shades paler. "Yes, you remember her, don't you? You must also remember then, the family you helped to destroy almost 10 years ago?"

"Of course I remember," she snaps at him. "I also remember that it was _your_ son who ended up getting caught by Guardians with that girl in his arms. For 6 years we had that girl, and if it wasn't for Gregory, we would still have her!" I bite back a gasp and realize they're talking about Bellatrix. I don't know how much more I can listen to, but when I take a step back, a twig snaps beneath my foot. All four pairs of eyes flicker up and before I realize what's happening, Roman is in front of me. I scream and try to run.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asks and grabs me by the arm, dragging me back to the cave. When I am closer to the cave, I suddenly see at least 30 more pairs of eyes just in the surrounding woods alone.

"Let me go," I tell him and he merely smiles.

"Oh, but you see I don't think I can do that, seeing as you've been listening in on our conversation. However, I do wish for you to pass on that message…" he says, and strokes my face and hair absently. I shiver at the coldness of his skin and he bares his fangs.

"Roman, don't," Annabeth says and I look over at her. "She's my daughter, you know that!" Roman laughs.

"Shane," he says to Shaggy, "hold Annabeth." I watch as Shane goes over to her and grips her arms behind her. Roman turns back to me and releases me. "I will give you to the count of 20 to run as far and fast as you can," he says and I wait five seconds to see if he's serious, before turning and running back. I make it to a little creek when I feel someone grab my waist and neck in each hand and I feel the piercing pain of fangs sinking into my neck.

One thing people were wrong about is that a Strigoi bite _can _be painful if the one biting wishes. And painful it is.

"_AAARRRGGGHHH!_" I screech and try to pry his hands off me. He merely grips me harder and I feel the beginnings of life drain from me. Before I can get weak, however, he releases me.

"Tell them my message," he growls to me and I stumble away from him and look back. "Tell them that all their precious wards and Guardians can't keep them from me. Tell them that Roman Vladislov is coming to say hello," he says and disappears into the night. I don't waste any time in trying to run back to the school. When I reach the outside of the borders, though, it happens. Three Strigoi appear in front of me and I scream loudly. I try and fight them away from me, but they each sink their fangs into me. One goes for my wrist, one goes for the other side of my neck, and one goes for the other wrist.

I try and keep screaming for help, but with each passing second, the life begins to drain from me. And then, like magic, 6 Guardians come racing towards us. The Strigoi drop me and I fall to the ground in a limp pile. I watch as the Guardians take down the Strigoi and then come over to me. I hear them asking me something, but I can hear nothing over the ringing in my ears.

They carry me to the infirmary where I'm immediately hooked up to an IV and my top is ripped to reveal the bites. I muster enough strength to raise my hand. They look at me and I whisper to them:

"You have to know…There's a message…I must tell you th…" I try to finish, but everything goes black.

**oOo**

When I come to, I gasp when I see Guardian Matthews face above mine.

"How are you feeling?" He asks and I look at my bandaged wrists and feel the bandages around my neck.

"I've been better," I whisper to him. He smiles at me but looks serious again.

"What message did you have to say?" He asks and I suddenly wonder why he's the only one in here with me.

"Why are there no other Guardians in here?" I ask and he looks concerned.

"You don't trust me?" He asks and I can tell he's hurt.

"I do, it's just…" I sigh and sit up, ignoring the soreness in my neck and wrists. I begin to take the IV out and all the other tubes and look at him. "I want a conference with all the Guardians at this school, right now." He nods and leaves me to get dressed. I meet him in the hallway and we make our way to the big conference room. He calls on his walkie-talkie for all the Guardians to come here for I have something of grave importance to share with them. In about 10 minutes, about 50 Guardians are in the room.

"Last night, when I ran from campus," I tell them, shaking my head and licking my dry lips, "I didn't know where I was headed. I eventually made it to a Strigoi camp. I can tell you that there are at least 40 Strigoi there," I say, hearing some scoffs. "You might not believe me, and that's okay. But," I say, ripping off the bandages on my wrists and neck, "these bite marks don't just come from a hungry Moroi, and you all know that. I was told last night that Lorcan Donskoy is one of the keys to their plan. They want to take over this school, and the leader wished for me to pass along this message," I take a deep breath and look at each of them in the face.

"They are coming, and no one, not even all of you will be ready. Your wards and yourselves will not be enough to keep him out…"

"Wait, who is _he_?" Asks one of the Guardians. I grimace.

"He wanted me to tell you that he himself is coming to say hello. That, Roman Vladislov is coming to say hello," I tell them and show them the worst bite on my neck. "He bit me here and never before have I ever experienced something as painful as that bite. We were wrong about Strigoi in some aspects. Last night, I saw at least two Strigoi that were turned forcefully and still had a semblance of their old self. One of them was a Dhamphire who was mysteriously murdered in London; she went by Jesse. Another one…Another one was someone who, even though turned by choice, had guilt and remorse for doing it."

"You sound as if you sympathize with these demons," another Guardian said. "Just because you don't know your mother, or the whereabouts of your father, it doesn't mean you can become a Str—…"

"My _mother _is a Strigoi!" I scream at him and I hear gasps all around. "She tried to stop Roman from biting me, but he had one of his minions, Shane, hold her back. And Jesse? She didn't want that life. She was happily in love with someone who goes to this school now, but can't even consider being with him because of what she is forced to be. All Strigoi are not as evil as we make them out to be! How many Strigoi have been killed that could have had that conscious part of their old self? How many could have been hating that life and wanted an escape from it? How many innocent Strigoi have been killed because we all believe that every single one of them are evil? Have you ever thought that maybe, there might be a way to reverse it? Or are you all so damned convinced of, what I was up until last night, what you've been taught your whole lives?

"You don't have to believe me on the not-so-evil part, I don't care. But we have to protect Lorcan from them. It's not just Strigoi banded together. I felt the presence of Moroi and Dhamphires, and even humans. It's not just the creatures of the night we must worry about, it's the humans who can walk during the day and night and not be bothered by it. I'm not going to stand by and let them try to take us over. But, I know that no matter what we try to do, they can have humans break the wards and we'll be powerless."

"so what do you propose we do, Miss Ross?" I look over at Guardian Sanders and smile at her.

"Put at least three Guardians in each old watch cabin again. That's where the wards are, actually. Take away a couple of the Dhamphires classes and turn them into fighting classes. We need to be taught more than we are. Train us to use a silver stake, so that in the event of an emergency, we can at least try to help. And let Moroi who wish to, take fighting classes as well. Let them fight alongside us like they used to. Find some of the old Moroi who still know the fighting spells and let the Moroi learn how to defend themselves. This is the only way we can even be ready. Please," I beg them, "think of what would happen if Roman got through our wards and destroyed this school! It would be the beginning of the end! And even if I die trying, I will _not _let that happen," I tell them strongly and they all nod.

**oOo**

After we talk strategy for some time, I'm allowed to go back to my dorm. I take a detour however, needing some closure on the whole Lorcan issue. I need him to know where I stand…Even if I don't tell him the whole truth.

So, here I am, standing outside his door. The nurse is giving him a sponge bath and I see his sculpted chest. Although he has three gashes going across it, he is still beautiful. I knock on the door and the nurse and Lorcan look up. At my entrance, a big smile spreads across his face. I feel a wave of guilt rush through me at his genuine joy at seeing me. Under different circumstances, I would be just as overjoyed to see him.

"Can we have a moment?" I ask the nurse and she must see something in my expression because she smiles comfortingly and nods. I turn to Lorcan and see the light begin to fade in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asks and I feel tears weld up in my eyes.

"I won't be coming by to see you anymore, Lorcan," I tell him and his mouth falls in that way when you hear extremely bad news and it hurts. He shakes his head.

"No, you…you have to come back to see me! You have to see me, you can't…Why would you say that?" He has begun to ramble and I sniffle. I shake my head at him.

"I just can't, Lorcan. You don't have to act anymore. I know you are only glad to see me because you know I'm the only friend you have here. But, you're not glad that _me _personally is here. I know you, Lorcan, and I know that it's not for me that you smile…It's because you know that a _friend _is here…"

"No, you've got it all wrong," he begins again and I can see the pain in his eyes as if it were glowing in his ebony orbs. "I want _you _here, Anne. I'm glad that _you _are here, not because you're a _friend_, but because _you _are here. Anne, I wouldn't want anyone else here," he tries to explain to me and I let the tears fall. He tries to get up, but I go over to him and keep him lying down.

"You mustn't try to get up," I tell him through the tears, "You're not fully healed yet. And I told you before Christmas break goodbye. Why, if you've said enough that you are only fond of me as a friend, why do you insist on coming back to me? Why?" I beg him, falling to my knees and resting my head on the bed whilst a sob escapes my lips. I try to take a deep breath and calm myself but it only makes more tears fall. I feel Lorcan stroke my hair and I don't try to stop him.

For so long, I wished for him to do this, to show compassion…to care. And now, when he actually does, I can't accept it because loving him whilst he doesn't love me in return is killing me.

"Anne, I…" Lorcan tries, but is at a loss for words. After a few minutes, I pull back and wipe away the tears, sniffling.

"I'm fine, I've just had a lot going through my mind," I say, flipping my hair behind my ears. I hear Lorcan gasp and I remember the Strigoi bites on my neck. I gasp and cover my neck back up.

"Did you…Did you let someone feed off you?" He asks and I can hear how furious he is at the idea. I wonder whether a lie or the truth would be better. Instead I go for plan C.

"Ask Guardian Matthews," I tell him, standing. "Now, I'm really leaving. This is goodbye for real, Lorcan. If you call for me, I won't come. I can't do this anymore," I tell him, knowing he won't understand the last statement. I kiss his forehead and feel my heart break completely. As I pull away, he grabs my wrist.

"Is that really the goodbye I'm going to get?" He asks and I have a weird feeling in my stomach.

"What kind of goodbye do you want?" I ask him. He pulls me closer to him and I kneel so I'm at eye level with him. I feel my heartbeat pick up when he takes my face in his hands and leans closer to me.

"A proper one, at least," he whispers and his words fade as he presses his lips against mine gently. My eyes close helplessly as we kiss. An electric shock jolts through me, and a fluttery feeling buzzes in my stomach, whilst a knowing warmth spreads through my soul. _Finally, _my mind whispers. I feel tears leak behind my closed eyes, knowing that this is really goodbye, and that it is only a friendly thing. When we pull away, I see tears in Lorcan's eyes as well. I swallow and smile sadly at him.

"Goodbye, Lorcan," I whisper to him. I stand upright and walk away. When I get to the door I hear him whisper to me.

"Goodbye, Anne," he whispers sadly and it takes all my strength _not _to run back to him. I bolt for the outside door and when I open it, I run right into Guardian Matthews' chest.

"I'm…I'm sorry," I get out and he gives me a knowing look.

"We give the Strigoi a month," he tells me and I nod mutely. I begin to walk away when he calls to me.

"Anne," he says and I turn to look at him. "You know that boy is crazy about you, right?" I feel more tears weld up in my eyes and he looks apologetic. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't've said anything. But, if it's any consolation, I know how it feels…"

"Know how what feels, Guardian Matthews?" I ask him, feeling even more broken.

"To be in love with someone and to believe that there's no way they could ever love you back," he tells me. I let a sob escape and he looks so pitiful. "Her name was Isobel," he says, taking a step towards me. "I had been in love with her for years, but not once did I ever suspect she loved me too. So, I left, thinking it was for the best. She married of course, because she was a royal Moroi," he tells me and I gasp. "I was going to be her Guardian, but I couldn't take the pain of being near her every day, knowing I loved her but she was only fond of me.

So, I left and she ended up getting married. Her husband was abusive and he put her on her death bed in the hospital. I went to see her and her last words were, and I quote: _if I would have only told you the truth about my feelings, I wouldn't be here now; I should have told you from the start I loved you, Fork, I know that now…Just know that I never once stopped loving you_. She died five minutes later," he tells me. I see the pain in his eyes as he speaks of her and I realize how much alike we both really are.

"I'm so sorry, Guardian Matthews," I tell him and he nods.

"I just wanted you to know that you're not alone, Anne," he says and I nod, the tears falling from my eyes. "It's okay to love someone and be afraid of telling them." I nod again and turn around to continue towards the old gym.

**oOo**

I work out in the gym for what feels like days. I try to distract myself of everything. I feel the soreness in my wrists and neck and that only makes myself push my body to its limits. The only thing in my mind is to learn to defend myself more so I can kill Roman.

When it's almost curfew, Guardian Matthews comes to the gym to teach me how to use a silver stake. At first, it's difficult. After almost 3 hours, I manage to hold it steady and to stake the dummy. Guardian Matthews nods his approval and we continue to practice for another hour or so before he tells me to go to bed. I nod and head to my dorm, explaining that I was with a Guardian to the lady at the desk. She allows me to be excused and I make my way up to my room.

When I get there, I grab my toiletries bag and head to take a shower. After I finish there, I finally go to my room, but lying on my pillow is another rose with a black silk ribbon tied around it. I feel my heart tear further and I feel tears fall from my eyes. There is no note attached but I have a feeling I know who it's from…

I have a mental breakdown and I start yelling and throwing things around my room. I don't know how long I did this but I only stopped when someone grabbed me by the waist and put me against the wall.

"Stop this," hissed a familiar voice. I stiffen and crane my neck to see the one person I never thought I would: Guardian Sanders. All throughout my breakdown, not once had a single tear fallen. Her presence seemed like the catalyst for the floodgate of tears. "Oh, Anne," she whispers sadly and I look at her, feeling like a child again.

"I'm at a loss," I tell her brokenly. "I'm in love with someone who is only fond of me, and I found out that my mother is a Strigoi, along with my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend." She looks confused so I explain further. "I was dating Lestat De Lioncour. His girlfriend, Jesse, mysteriously died and so he came here. But, she's a Strigoi who was forcefully turned…Remember, at the meeting I called for?" I ask her and she gasps, nodding in remembrance. Then her face becomes shocked and concerned.

"Your mother is a Strigoi?" She asks and I nod. "My God, all these years we thought that she had just died. But, she has been undead for this whole time! I am so sorry, Anne," she tells me and I nod sadly.

"When will the other students be arriving back?" I ask her.

"Tonight," she says and I look at the clock. In 8 hours this place will be crawling with happy students back from wherever they were. I nod at her. "Are you all right, Anne?" She asks and for once, I shake my head.

"I am a mess. I'm in love with this guy, I just found out my mom's a Strigoi, I got marked by a Strigoi and bitten by three others, I just kissed the guy I'm in love with goodbye, I wasn't prepared when the Strigoi bit me, and in less than 8 hours this place will be crawling with happy students and I just want to scream," I tell her and she nods sympathetically.

"Go to sleep, for one," she says, "and when you wake up, I'll have someone clean up this room for you. Then, I want you to come see me. You can skip class today and help me or help Guardian Matthews if you wish," she tells me and I nod in appreciation. She leads me to the bed and once I'm tucked in, kisses my forehead and strokes my hair. Before she leaves, I grab her hand. She looks back at me and I feel the need to tell her something.

"Guardian Sanders," I begin and she turns towards me. "I just want you to know that, despite everything, you've been the closest thing to a mom to me ever since I've been here. I know that my mother is still _here_, but she can't show the compassion that you do, nor can she ever make up for abandoning me to turn willingly. I'm not the best person in the world, but I want you to know that I really do appreciate everything you've done for me. So thank you," I tell her and I see a glimmer of tears in her eyes. She nods and turns from me, leaving the room. It doesn't bother me, though; it's a normal reaction for Guardians. Sighing, I roll over, throwing the flower onto the floor. I close my eyes and let sleep take over.

**oOo**

When I wake up, my room is in spotless order. I look over to see that everyone is going to be here in an hour for class. I sigh and grab my toiletries bag, heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth and to take a shower. Once I finish with that, I head back to my room to pick out some clothes for the day.

I decide on white wash flare jeans, wearing a black and red striped long-sleeved shirt with it. I pair it with a black necklace and my converse. I throw on a hoodie over top of it in case it gets cold. I pull my hair back into a braid, letting two strands hang forward. I put on some chap stick and head to the cafeteria, knowing it will be open. I grab water and a yogurt and head to see Guardian Sanders. I find her in deep conversation with Guardian Matthews. They both look up at me coming towards them and give me a small smile.

"We have some news," they tell me as I sit down in between them and eat my yogurt. I motion for one of them to continue.

"It's about Mr. Donskoy," Guardian Matthews says and I spit out my water.

"What about him?" I ask, trying desperately to keep my hands from shaking.

"He's healed much faster than we anticipated and is getting ready as we speak to head back to his dorm," He continues and I grip the bottle tighter in my hands. I clench my jaw and look out towards the sun. "Also, there is to be a ball tomorrow night," he says and I openly gape at him.

"A _what_?" I ask and he smiles softly. Guardian Sanders pats my hand gently and I furrow my brow.

"A Christmas ball," he says, "it will be a way to ease the tension that will be flying around the school my tomorrow. We were wondering if, today, you would help us prepare for it."

"I would be glad to help, seeing as if there's a ball, I will not be attending," I tell them and I hear them gasp.

"Why ever would you not go?" They ask at the same time and I grimace.

"Guardian Matthews?" I hear a voice call out. "Where are you?" I wince painfully and close my eyes hard.

"_He's _the reason why," I whisper to them and she rubs my shoulders affectionately. She strokes my hair and squeezes my hand.

"Oh, there you are," Lorcan says as he comes up to us. When he is close enough, I stand up.

"I think I'm going to go practice some before I come to help you, Guardian Sanders," I tell her, bowing my head slightly. She does the same. "Guardian Matthews," I say, repeating the process. He gives me a half smile and I walk away from them, ignoring Lorcan. I can feel his eyes boring into the back of my head, and I pick up my pace.

When I get to the gym, I practice with the stake again. I don't feel up to it today for some reason and sigh before getting dressed once more and heading out to find the Guardians.

I find them with Lorcan, of course with Lorcan, and I smile at each of them, still ignoring Lorcan. We all talk about some of the things we need and how we are going to decorate.

"Okay, Anne and Lorcan," Guardian Sanders says and I bite back a groan, "I need you two to go see the Headmaster about leaving the school campus for a few hours tomorrow so we can go shopping for these supplies. Can you do that?" She asks and I nod. I head off in the direction of the main office and Lorcan follows.

"So," he begins and I shake my head.

"Don't," I tell him and am surprised at how sharp my voice sounds. He backs off for the moment, but I can tell this isn't the last time he will try to speak to me.

We go to the Headmaster and she grants us our request. I thank her and we head back to the Guardians. Every chance he had, Lorcan tried to talk to me, and every time he tried, I shut him down. Before we got to where we were meeting the Guardians, he grabs my wrist.

"Look," he says and I stop and look at him. "I've thought every second about what you said," he tells me and I look down. I try to pull my hand away but he merely holds it tighter. "No, I'm not letting you go anywhere until you listen to me!" He says and I look into his eyes. My own betray what I'm feeling and his brow furrows. "I don't understand you at all, Anne. I've never tried to understand anyone before, but you…You understand _me_, I mean the real me; and I've never felt so vulnerable. Ever since I was younger, I took a vow of silence. But you bring out my voice, Anne," he takes a step towards me, "you bring out a me I never realized I had," another step, "and it makes me wonder about if anyone can really see who you are," he takes one more step and we are mere inches apart.

"You said before that you couldn't do it anymore. I never thought about what you _could_ mean, instead thought about what you _probably _meant," he pauses and I take a step back.

"What are you getting at, Lorcan?" I ask him, "because we have to get back to Guardian Sanders and Matthews."

"Do you ever take time for yourself?" He asks and I ignore him.

"Just say whatever you were planning on saying. If you're through, then I would like to get going," I say, wrenching my wrist out of his grasp. He looks affronted and then angry.

"Nevermind, Miss Ross," he says sarcastically. "Please, let us continue to where we are needed. I wouldn't want to prevent you from being the snarky bi—…" His face turns with the force of my slap. He looks at me stunned, but that weird emotion crosses his features when he sees the tears in my eyes.

"Go to Hell, Lorcan Donskoy," I whisper to him and run away from him. I run past Guardian Matthews and Guardian Sanders. I hear them calling after me, but ignore them. I run until I get to the borders of the school. I take a breath and begin to run alongside it, around the whole school. I run past the gates where students are beginning to arrive, I run past the dorms and the cafeteria, and I slow to a jog when I hear Fork and Keira's voices.

"This is the _second _time you've made her run," Guardian Sanders says in a disapproving tone.

"But I always come back," I say, coming out from the tree line. I walk up to them and they look shocked.

"What happened to you?" Lorcan asks and I glare at him.

"What do you care?" I retort but look back to the Guardians. "I'm sorry I ran off, I just needed a breather; running helps. And I was running alongside the borders of the school, that's why I have twigs and leaves in my hair, and my jeans are muddy. The Headmaster approved our request by the way, so we can go shopping tomorrow, as you wish," I tell them, plucking the twigs and whatnot from my hair. Seeing that my hair is messed up now, I take it out of its braid and shake my hair out. Lorcan watches my hair with an odd expression. "By the way, Lorcan," I tell him and he meets my eyes, "the next time you go to call me a snarky bitch, I _will _hit you harder and I _will _make your next turn at sparring a living hell," threaten gently and he sighs.

"I'm sorry about that," he says and I shake my head.

We talk some more and Lorcan has to go to class. I help the Guardians some more, talking strategy, and then I go and practice. I do this until curfew and then I head to my room to sleep.

**oOo**

I wake up and see a red rose with the damned black silk ribbon tied to it lying next to me. I toss it in the trash and get dressed, throwing on a pair of black sweatpants and a dark purple swoop neck tank top. I put on a golden necklace and leave my hair down. I put my converse on and head out to see Guardian Sanders. We talk some more before she tells me some news.

"Another Dhamphire is coming with us," she says and I cock my head to the side. A pair of hands covers my eyes.

"Guess who?" A voice whispers evilly and I gasp, turning around.

"Bellatrix!" I scream and she laughs, hugging me tightly. "I am so so so sorry about what I did, ignoring you and everything! Please forgive me, move back into the room, be my friend again, I'm sorry!" I tell her and she laughs.

"I forgive you, my stuff is ready to be put back in, of course I'm still your friend, and it's okay. Now, get your butt in that car and let me buy you a nice dress for the ball tonight that you _are _going to," she says and before I can object, she raises an eyebrow at me. I sigh and nod. We all pile into the car and head off to the mall to buy the necessary items.

When we get the stuff we need, Bellatrix announces that we are going to go look for dresses, and that the Guardians are welcome to stay behind if they wish.

"I'll come along," Guardian Sanders says, and I smile. She could be our mother…

We all walk side by side and no one gives us questioning glances. I look at each of us and realize how much we could all pass as a family. We head into one store that doesn't really have anything worth trying on, but then Bellatrix sees a really expensive store and demands that I go in. She says she "has a feeling" that the dresses we want will be in here. So, we go.

We are looking around before I hear Bellatrix gasp. I go over to her and she's holding up two dresses: one a deep red that is strapless with diamond lining the chest area, and it's knee length, but has a flowy look to it. The other dress is black and has a halter, but is floor length with a slit up the side of it, revealing red silk underneath; it has a ring in the chest area, giving it a sexier look.

"These are way too expensive," I tell her and she pouts. Just then, Guardian Sanders takes the two dresses and tells us to try them on. She hands the red one to Bellatrix and the black one to me. I try the dress on and feel like I'm worth a million dollars. It's so beautiful…

I walk out to see Bellatrix in her dress and she looks gorgeous. We gaze at ourselves for a few more minutes and get our clothes back on. We go to put the dresses back and Guardian Sanders tells us to wait in the Bath & Body Works, that's next door, for her. We give her a look, but go anyways. We end up buying a whole set for each of us, and one for Guardian Sanders. I buy the Dark Kiss set, Bellatrix gets the Twilight Woods set, and we buy Guardian Sanders the Secret Wonderland set. We exit the store and Guardian Sanders smiles at the gift we bought her.

We leave then and head back to the Academy. When we get there, Bellatrix and I are excused from classes. We go up to her room and clean it out, bringing the stuff into mine. When we get there, we start to put her things away.

"I'm gonna put my clothes in the closet," she says and I nod. She opens the closet doors and I hear her clothes drop to the floor.

"Bellatrix?" I ask and look back at her. She's staring at something in the closet and I go over to see what. I gasp when I see the two black dress bags hanging in my closet. There are notes attached to each of them, both from Guardian Sanders. I pick up mine and read it aloud: "Every princess, no matter how hurting and pained, deserves to shine." Bellatrix picks up hers and reads it aloud as well.

"Your demons cannot hurt you any longer, especially not tonight. Prove them that you are stronger." We look at each other and unzip the bags, revealing the black and red dresses. We glance at the clock, and see that we only have a few hours before the ball. We rush to the showers and back to our room where we begin to get ready. I decide to curl my hair with a curling iron and leave it hanging down. I brush the curls gently and then watch as Bellatrix leaves her hair pin straight, but pins half of it up and away from her face. She lets two strands on either side of her face hang down and she looks like a goddess. She uses some cover up and covers her scars up. I can see how embarrassed she is about them, but that she is better at seeing them. When we do our makeup, she decides to do a silver smokey eye, with white lip gloss. Me, on the other hand, do an almost black smokey eye and put on a red tinted lip gloss on. I pull out two necklace boxes and give one to her. Inside is a simple necklace with a diamond hanging off the end of it. Mine is the same, only instead of a white diamond, I have a black one.

She loans me a pair of black heels that have jewels on them, and she herself wears a dark red pair that match her dress perfectly. When we look to see the time, we see that we have just made it. I grab a black trench coat thing and she does the same.

When we arrive, standing at the top of the small staircase, everyone looks up at us. Two Dhamphires offer to take our coats and we let them slip the coats off of us. Everyone gasps at us and we look around us as we descend the few steps into the Grand Room. In the corner of the room, I see Lorcan in a tuxedo. He looks over at us when Keith points in our direction and his eyes almost bug out of his head when he sees me.

Bellatrix and I make our way over to Lestat and when he sees us, he gives us both pecks on the cheek.

"You two look beautiful," he says and winks at Bellatrix. She punches him in the shoulder and smiles back. "Care to dance?" She looks over at me and I smile at her. He takes her hand in his and leads her to the dance floor. I watch them dance, enthralled by how amazing they both are.

The rest of the dance continues by and I soon begin to tire of watching all the couples dance. Oh sure, Lestat offered to dance with me a time or two, but I could see how happy he was to dance with Bellatrix. After a while, I decide to head out to the balcony **(the Grand Room is a whole new building; it is two stories and so Anne is going up to the second floor where the balconies and bathrooms and feeders are)**. I open the door and the wind rushes in, blowing my hair back off my shoulders, exposing my creamy skin.

I step over to the railing and gaze out at the surrounding forests. The moon is big and bright, the stars shining amazingly. In the distance, I can see the smoke from the Strigoi camp's fires; I grimace and subconsciously rub my neck where Roman bit me. Tears form in my eyes as I remember what happened afterwards, and I bring my other hand to my lips. I can still feel the searing of Lorcan's kiss and close my eyes on a wave of pain.

"Am I interrupting?" I gasp and turn around at Lorcan's entrance. Up close, his black hair and pale skin look even starker in the night, his tuxedo playing up his features. He has a red rose on the lapel of his jacket and I look up at him, the question in my eyes.

"Was it you?" I ask and he nods, smiling sadly. "You put those notes on the roses, and tied black silk ribbon onto them?" He nods again. "But why?" He goes to take a step closer to me, but decides against it and goes over to the railing, leaning against it.

"Because I wanted you to know the truth," he says and I look up at him. The wind decides to blow gently, and my dress flows with the wind. Lorcan's hair blows gently in it as well and I'm mesmerized by its beauty. I close my eyes and imagine a different world, a world where we're both human and at prom, a world where Lorcan was as in love with me as I am him. I open my eyes to my reality. The smile falls from my face and I look down and around just to make sure I'm not dreaming. I feel tears prickle in my eyes and I look out to the horizon, swallowing harshly. "What is wrong?" He asks and I smile sadly, still looking.

"For just a second, I imagined that we were both human and at prom…And that you were in love with me, like I always dreamed," I tell him, the smile still on my face. "Of course, nothing like that would ever happen in reality," I say, motioning around us. "In reality, humans have no idea how lucky they are. Night and day, they don't have to worry about protecting another's life, or worrying about killing someone else to protect. They only need to worry about petty human needs, like food and clothing. I envy them sometimes," I tell Lorcan, and feel a single tear fall. "What I wouldn't give sometimes to be human, even if just for a day, so I could live out my dreams." I feel a hand wiping against my cheek and jump. Lorcan smiles sadly at me and wipes away the other tear as well. "My mom is a Strigoi," I tell him.

"When I ran from you in the infirmary, I ran out of the borders. Those smokes from fires," I say motioning to them, "they're the Strigoi camp. I found my way there and listened to what they were saying. They need you, Lorcan, for their plan of mass destruction. But one of them has taken a fancy to me," I say with a grimace, remembering the look on Shane's face. "But then I saw two Strigoi who still had their old selves. Whilst one of them turned willingly, it doesn't change the fact that they both had their own minds. My mother tried to protect me from Roman," I say, remembering. "He marked me on my neck. He sent me back with a message and I ran until I was just outside the borders. There, three Strigoi jumped me and bit me on my neck and wrists.

Afterwards, I was hurting and I didn't know what to do. I wanted something I couldn't have," I whisper, my eyes closing.

"What did you want?" Lorcan asks me in a whisper and I feel the wind start to blow again. I open my eyes and look him in the eye as I answer.

"You," I whisper to him and I feel my lower lip quiver. "You're all I have ever wanted, Lorcan. I know you can't give me what I want, that you're only fond of me in a friend way. But," I say, looking down at the ground, "if you could just tell me that, I would be okay, I think."

"What do you want me to tell you?" He asks me in a whisper.

"That you're only fond of me, that you just want to be friends, that you're sorry but you just don't like me that way. That you hope it doesn't change things between us and ruin our friendship, but that you'll be here for me if I need you," I tell him.

"No," he says and I look back at him.

"Wh…Why?" I ask in a quiet voice. _Oh God, what if he wants to say that he wants nothing to do with me? I can't take that! Don't say it, Lorcan…Please, I love you…_

"Because I'd be lying if I did," he says simply and I lose it. Tears form behind my closed eyes and fall. I open my eyes and shake my head at him before turning to run. "No, I didn't mean like that!" He says, grabbing my wrist. I look back at him and see that weird emotion in his face again. As if he can tell by my stance and the look on my face, he understands immediately what I was thinking only moments ago.

"Then what did you mean, Lorcan?" I ask him.

"I mean, that I can't tell you I only want to be friends, I can't tell you that I'm only fond of you, I can't say I'm sorry and that I don't like you that way. If I said those things, I'd be lying, Anne," he whispers, and grabs my face in his hands. We stay that way for some time before he sighs. "Dance with me?" He asks and I nod.

The music from downstairs is loud enough that we can dance and not have to worry about keeping time. I wouldn't care if there wasn't any music, just the fact that I'm in his arms is enough…

I sigh happily and lay my head on his chest as we dance. His arms tighten around my waist, bringing me closer to him. The song Cut by Plumb begins to play and I sing along softly.

"…A fragile frame aged, with misery; and when our eyes meet, I know you see. I do not wanna be afraid, I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in…I'm tired of feeling so numb; relief exists I find it when I am cut…I may seem crazy, or painfully shy…" Our dance becomes more extravagant as the song continues, and I feel like I can fly. I stop and look into Lorcan's eyes as I sing the ending of the song to him.

"I'm not a stranger, no I am yours…With crippled anger and tears that still drip sore; but I do not wanna be afraid, I do not wanna die inside just to breathe in; I'm tired of feeling so numb; relief exists I found it when…I was cut." We look at each other for two heartbeats before his head begins to descend. I find myself reaching up to him. When the song Hear You Me starts playing, we look into each other's eyes before shutting them and closing the distance.

His lips press gently against mine and I feel that same shock once more. I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, and he does the same to my waist. He parts my lips with his and deepens our kiss. Suddenly, as the song reaches a crescendo, he twirls me around, never taking his lips off mine. I smile against his lips and when we break the kiss, he takes my face in his hands and kisses me again. We kiss for sometime before he pulls away again.

I open my eyes slowly, my breathing slightly heavy.

"Why did you stop?" I whisper to him, touching his lips with my fingertips. He kisses my hand and then takes it in his own hand. He pulls a rose from behind my ear and I gasp. He smiles softly and hands it to me.

"To tell you that I love you," he says, smiling hugely. My heart does cartwheels in my chest and I drop the rose to the ground and throw myself at him. He catches me and kisses me again. After sometime, we break away again.

"I love you, Lorcan Donskoy," I whisper against his lips.

"As I love you, Anne Ross," he whispers back. We kiss once more before he walks us over to the railing and turns me so my back is pressed against him. He wraps his arms around my waist and sways us back and forth.

We watch the stars and the moon and as a meteor shower begins, we kiss once more.

When we must return to our own dorms, I don't want to part, and neither does he. He strokes my face before kissing my hand goodnight. I walk up the steps to mine and Bellatrix's room and when I enter, Bellatrix is just lying down.

"Where have you been?" She asks and I smile wistfully. She smiles back at me. "Nevermind, tell me tomorrow," she says. I undress and get my pajamas on.

When I'm lying in my bed, I look at the darkening sky, hating how dawn will separate me from Lorcan. _Until the night_, I think to myself. And with that thought, I fall asleep to the face of my love. And for once, I know in my heart that no matter what, everything's going to be okay.

**WHEW! 30 PAGES LATER AND I HAVE SUCCESSFULLY FINISHED CHAPTER FOUR XD... IT TOOK 42 PAGES OF WRITING TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER! AND WELL OVER 30,000+ WORDS! LOVE MEH YET? EHHH, OH WELL I GUESS… HMMMMM, COOKIES TO WHOEVER CAN GUESS WHO I'M GOING TO DO A CHAPTER ON NEXT : D .. RIGHT, WELL… I'M GOIN NOW…I WILL BE UPDATING **_GOODBYE I'M SORRY_ **NEXT IF ANYONE WAS WONDERING, THEN **_FOREVER YOURS _**MAYBE…Well, SEE YA! **

**SONGS: CUT by PLUMB & HEAR YOU ME by JIMMY EAT WORLD**

**PAGES: 44 WORDS: +30,000 **


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